these are some pictures from this summer of me. :) i love the first one of me and zoe. it's so cute.

days are winding.
winds are changing.
days are getting shorter.
winds are getting colder.
all clues for the school year that is starting in a week.
i was able to go to ethan's t-ball game and enjoy the "fall" weather and being outside.

these past couple of days i've had this "craving" to write. i don't know what to write about or how to start. all i know is that i have this itch that keeps begging me to write something. maybe i'll write something to kristin or just doodle.
i have a feeling that some of this goes with the fact that i haven't been talking to people as much as i used to.
last summer all i did was talk..i can't think of a day where i just sat around by myself which is really different from this summer. now it's the exact opposite.

things change. people change.

i'm going to try to relieve this "itch" for writing.
have a wonderful day...

come what may....
teia

its very late wednesday night. actually it's basically thursday which means that school starts in a week now. of course, we're all getting the question: are you getting excited to go back to school? and the answer most of the time seems to be no. i say no to people but then after i've always gone back on my answer in my head and re-evaluated. i try to figure out why i'm not excited. i think it's because in my head last year went by so fast for me that this year doesn't seem like it should be my last year. i mean i'm going to be a senior in a week. i guess i am now but i'll be in classes and everything. ;) i guess that doesn't change much but in a way it changes everything. oh well. basically i dont know if i'm excited to go back or not. i feel like i've missed out on way too much this summer to say i had a summer and now i'm going back to the way things were....again.

this summer was so different from last that it's crazy. i wish i could've done so much more and motivated myself to do more. but of course, i got into that funk and couldn't get out till a couple of weeks ago. now i'm back..

also, i'm pretty excited about school shopping because i feel like i need some new clothes. some cute ones. some dresses. haha i dont know really i just like shopping.
it's really grown on me.

time for me to read and relax before i get into the school ways again.

On Sunday night MInte and I started watching Moulin Rouge. She fell asleep and once I realized that it was 430 in the morning i decided it was time to stop the movie and go to sleep. Last night I finished the end of the movie. i've seen it once before and I love it. the story is amazing and shows love so perfectly. I can't really explain it. This is probably my favorite part of the whole movie.
---------------------

TOULOUSE: The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return!

[SATINE looks up, her back to CHRISTIAN. CHRISTIAN pauses. The AUDIENCE murmurs. WARNER looks at CHRISTIAN, but he doesn’t turn around. SATINE comes to a realisation. Slowly, she turns around.]

SATINE:

Never knew I could feel like this. . .

[With great pain, CHRISTIAN slowly starts to walk forward again out of the theatre. As SATINE sings, her voice grows stronger.]

SATINE:

. . .It’s like I’ve never seen the sky before.

Want to vanish. . .

[CHRISTIAN pauses, in inner turmoil.]

SATINE:

. . . inside your kiss,

Everyday I’m loving you more and more.

[SATINE walks forward across the stage, as CHRISTIAN slowly turns around.]

SATINE:

Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing,

Come back to me and forgive everything.

[SATINE gasps for breath, but recovers.]

[SATInE cues the orchestra to accompany SATINE.]

SATINE:

Seasons may change, winter to spring. . .

The DUKE is seething with rage.]

SATINE: I love you,

Till the end of time.

[A pause.]

CHRISTIAN:

Come what may. . .

the past week has been pretty crazy and now it's finally settling down.
last monday i was able to help out with germanfest some more. then on tuesday and wednesday i helped erin take some senior pictures and worked. we had a pretty fun time going to milwaukee and doing some on-site shooting downtown. then josh slept over on wednesday night because we were going to leave for six flags right in the morning. we had an awesome time at six flags. we were able to go on a lot of rides and just really enjoyed everyone's company. :)
minte, michael, isabel, josh, kellen, kristin and i all went. we made new jokes and laughed the whole day. later that night i was able to go home with kristin. we were so tired on thursday night. friday we woke up and had our whole day planned out. we went to water her babysitting family's plants, and ran a ton of errands. then we went shopping at the mall.
later we called hunter and went to see the dark knight with him. it was really fun and an amazing movie. hunter and i ended up talking for over an hour while kristin was on the phone. it was really fun we talked about school and what i want to do. after hunter left we talked to dan on the phone until 4 in the morning and then got up so we could get back home.
of course, traffic was horrific. going from chicago to west bend it took us about 3 and a half hours! it was crazy.

now i'm back home and it's kinda nice. i was able to actually do laundry and clean my room on monday. :) i was pretty happy about that.

it's august...ew. not too excited about that. oh well.

sun and the germans.

those couple of words explains my last few days. on wednesday i was able to help with the freshman orientation and then i went to work. the next day deirdre, isabel and i went to summerfest grounds to help with germanfest setup. it was a pretty good time. we stapled tablecloths onto tables for hours and then we sat in the hot hot sun. and of course there were many germans there. :) hans hans hans. it was a very popular name around the grounds. and once we got back to deirdre's we were so tired we just sat around for the rest of the night. we did the same thing yesterday at the grounds too. the guys were a little more cooperative and we were able to finish up the tables and then drive around on the golf cart waiting for the fest to open. it was a fun time with some pretty awesome people.
right now zoe and i are laying here in my bed even though it's a beautiful day outside. she's taking a nap. i figure that if i just lay here and cooperate....she might sleep a little while. :D

anyways, it was nice to get out of the house for a few days and be able to help some others out and hang out with some people my age and younger. :) and of course the tan is definitely a plus out of the whole situation.
now im just praying for kristin and her job, move and apartment situation. im praying that josh might come around so that we might have one time with isabel, michael, him and i this summer. just one last time.

oh well. dreams don't always come true.

maybe ill rest some more and read more of New Moon.
then monday is off to more germanfest work.

semper ubi sub ubi.
always wear underwear.

im out.

teia

today has been a pretty relaxing day like all summer days. :)

i talked to a bunch of people from school today online. it was really nice to kinda be able to catch up with some of them. tomorrow i have the chance to help out with freshman orientation. it will be a different experience and ill get to see a couple of people from school...and ill be in school for like 3 hours tomorrow! oh no. that means it's getting closer!

i was reminded by people today that there is less than a month of summer vacation left. it's so depressing in a way. there doesnt seem to be much of a summer to look back at. hopefully the next couple of weeks will be a blast.

kristin is going to OH this coming weekend to look at a potential teaching job for her. it's become a really hard choice for her to make in this time. she doesnt know if she wants to pick being close to friends and familiarity or if she should take the new job and be a part of that new expierence.

oh well. i guess thats her thing. :)
im looking forward to the next couple of days and the coming weeks.

change change change.
i dont think ill ever be used to it. but maybe one day it wont be so hard.

time to do something else.

zoe is 4 months old today! yay baby girl

these past two days have been good and bad just like any other days. we all have our ups and downs. secrets and long talks on the phone, excitement for one person and it seeming like the end of the world for the other. i know that it probably doesn't make sense but i think my head has been through a lot the past day.

today i found a website called This I Believe. it got me to thinking about what I believe...again. So i wrote thoughts down. it's a real rough copy but here's what I have.

This I Believe
'He looked at his three oldest children, me included, and said , ”What do you believe?”. It was moments after we found out about our youngest sister and her Trisomy 18 which could take her at any moment. What do I believe? It’s a question that everyone struggles with whether or not they having a dying sister. Three weeks later we were asking ourselves the same question when we found out that our baby brother was diagnosed with Trisomy 21 or Down’s Syndrome. How was I supposed to live with two babies that were not as healthy as all the others? How was I going to live through this?
As I wept about these little gifts of life that God gave our family, I struggled. He cannot do this to me, I thought. Then I remembered one of the songs we sang in choir, “Rejoice in heaven all ye who dwell there in. Rejoice on earth ye saints below, For Christ is coming, is coming soon. For Christ is coming soon.” When I remembered those words for those weeks I became comforted. I knew He was with me and that He was going to lead me through this time. I gave it all to God and knew that He was going to take care of me and the whole family. When people hear about my brother and sister, they feel sad and sympathize for me. I don’t want them to be sad because I know what I believe. I know what He can do.
This I believe.
I believe that God will stay with you through any trial that you go through. He’s there right next to you. He’s listening to your prayers and He answers them in His time with His will. He can do anything like make the flowers bloom and the birds sing. He can make a baby who is not supposed to be living live for 122 days and more.'

soooooo. that's about it for today. i might write more later.

teia

it's a beautiful monday afternoon. i got home from work at 5 and decided to come outside and sit right in the middle of the yard so that im under some shade and sun just at the same time. :) of course, once i get my chair set up in the middle of the yard i hear footsteps and a door closing and ethan dragged a chair up right next to mine. it's cute but it's just the right time right now to just want to be in peace and quiet. usually right when you find your "perfect" spot chaos comes up and just doesn't want you to be in that moment. oh well, sometimes we need that perfect moment only for a second just to get us back to where we need to be.

i took some pictures of me sitting right in the middle of the yard. :)
here they are.


the one at the top of the post is from today too. it just is of the "sky". well what the sky looks like right now when i look up ...it's filled with leaves and branches and specs of blue.

happy july 14th!

tomorrow's ethan's birthday!

teia

ok. so RSB are definitely the most amazing guys i've met in a really long time.
last night, yesterday was all amazing.
we got there and i walked around with zoe a lot. then robbie comes up to me and was like "hi how are you doing? who is this?" so we talked. i was pretty happy after that.
i talked to so many people. i feel kinda bad though because i was so floaty the whole night. i think there was too much going on in my head for me to think and process. therefore, i was so insanely floaty. wow. anyways.
then we actually got to meet robbie after the sound check. it was pretty amazing. he is a cool guy. we talked about zoe and her stuff. we talked about the family. then we met ryan he was the bassist. we didn't talk to him that much. but he seemed pretty neat, cool too. :)
isabel and i became the "food-getters" we got some jumbalaya ready for the guys to which taylor responded with the "jumbalaya dance". yes. there was a dance and "jumba, jumba, jumba-laya!" we cracked up. so that's basically how we met taylor. sitting next to taylor while we were eating was TANK. he was the drummer. i guess minte decided to ask TANK what his real name was and he responded with i dont have one. i keep writing TANK with capital letters because that's how he signed my awesome green shirt that mipps bought me. then there was tyler and he was the keyboardist. i think that's a word. keyboardist? keyboarder? whatever, he was on the keyboard. he was quiet but willing to try the strawberry rhubarb pie dad made. :P i'm not sure if he really liked it or not though..that's ok though. after the concert when i was going to get a picture with him i was stepping over a guitar case and my foot hit it. when i tried to stop it from falling he was like "it's ok..no worries, no worries." that was pretty cool i guess. i dont know. that's my tyler story. :)

let's see robbie stories. he was intrigued to hear about aunt tari and charis's time when they saw richard simmons. they were ecstatic to tell him. then he tried telling a story back about his friend david crowder and looked at them like 'you know....david crowder.' ...yeah. they were clueless. thankfully i was there and was like oh he's awesome. we listen to his music all the time. his hair is CRAZY! then he was able to finish the story because i understood about DC's hair. :) he loves the aunts. he thinks our family is crazy. he went up to dad and told him that he loved the family but we were crazy! he especially loved omi. he talked bout dad and jen and zoe on the green bay radio this morning and of course, martina called in. and he met another crazy family member. he mentioned omi on the radio.
i gave robbie the mug that erin and i made on the last day of school. one side said hope, coffee and melody and the other said oh baby, it's a new day. on the inside of the cup it had psalm 40:3..

i think robbie and the whole band thought this little concert was neat and cool. but what they might not understand is that this is becoming the talk of our lives. it's all we can think about. it's all we are going to think about for the next days, months and well we'll still talk about it years from now. they were such a blessing to our family. they helped us have a happy, fun, family, worshipful day. we all had a blast. i wish i could write exactly how i feel but i dont think i can. it's not possible just because there are no words for it.

thank you robbie.
thank you taylor.
thank you ryan.
thank you tyler.
thank you TANK.

you guys are amazing. thank you.

pictures from the concert...

i spend too much time on the computer.
most of it is looking at other people's blogs or looking at other pictures or my own pictures.
i'm such a dork. but i love it.

last week our best of broadway performances went REALLY well. the friday performance had some glitches because the sound board all of a sudden cut out the music during the middle of sap's song. he did a great job and finished but we had no music. during the first song the cd player wouldn't read the cd at all so we ended up ad-libbing for about 5 minutes. then we switched cd players after sap's song. and that one was still having problems so then we switched to dad's computer and it worked fine for the rest of the night. the audience was pretty mad. and so were some of the cast members so we messed up a couple of songs. our second performance went really well we didn't have any sound problems because we just played all the music off my computer because i already had all the songs in order. the last performance on sunday was most definitely our best one because we were all excited for it to be over i think. we all had a really fun time and of course there were those who annoyed us like none other but we still had a good time.
we had a cast party after the performance and had food and cleaned up at the academy.

it was really nice because omi and grandpadu were able to make it to our saturday performance and they enjoyed it.
afterwards omi and i were talking and then she looked at me and said," that man has something stuck to his butt." i was shocked and didn't know what she was talking about but when i looked over i found out that she was right. there was an older man standing near us and there was a white piece of paper stuck to his butt that said go wildcats with a megaphone. the sheet was one of the ones that we had used to reserve seats. so i told josh to come over and omi told him," go tell that man there's something stuck to his butt. im a lady and that would be kind of awkward if i told him." he saw the piece of paper and thought it was hilarious. he took a picture of it and said "story of my life!" omi and i both thought it was pretty funny.

tuesday morning kristin came up and we hung out all day. we went shopping at shoe carnival, maurices and bath and body works. then we went and got lunch and ate it the park by michael's house. after we dropped michael off, us girls drove to port washington to the the pier because we were going to meet josh there. we sat out for a little while and then walked back. i got some really amazing pictures with the water and us and reflections. we sat in kristin's car for a bit just talking and having fun. then when josh stood up to get out of the car isabel slammed a door and yelled FINE really loud. then she opened a door and slammed it again yelling again. she kept doing it while josh was walking back to his car. then kristin and i joined in. isabel quick ran out and got into josh's car. when kristin and i were pulling out we realized that we were making a scene and people really thought soemthing was wrong especially because isabel ran out of our car and into the other one. so we laughed about that one for awhile. when we got home we went out on the lake and the boys went fishing. the girls tried on the new clothes and then we ate dinner.

some of us were standing in the kitchen getting more food and drink and dad wanted to open the DR. WOW. so he started opening it and it exploded ALL over. it wasn't a little bit either. it was like a quarter of the bottle spraying ALL over the kitchen. kristin was standing there trying to hold her laughter in while we were all in shock or laughing.

after we cleaned everything up we headed outside for night games.we played capture the flag and then we decided to make up a game. we ended up playing outside until 2 in the morning. it was so beautiful out and there were millions of stars out.

the next morning we all got up at 5 to go fishing in door county. we were on the boat for just about 4 hours and had a really fun time. although we were dead tired we still enjoyed just being able to sit out there and relax. it started storming while we were out on the boat and we ended up catching 2 fish but only one to eat. captain paul thought it was probably 14lbs! after fishing we had some burgers on the way out and then kristin left and i worked.

today i went to children's with dad and jen and zoe for the heart meeting. i sat in the waiting room where the disney channel kept playing zach and cody episodes all afternoon.

other than that today was a pretty relaxing day.

i love it when kristin comes to town. we always cram as much as we can into the few hours we're together and it works...we all end up really tired after she leaves though. :)

tomorrow's the fourth and i get to see tracey's twins! i'm really excited we're also going to the cedarburg parade and then just going to hang out.

robbie seay's coming up! yay i'm really excited.

time for me to get some rest.

night.
teia

this week has been pretty awesome.
the robbie seay stuff is falling into place.
we're all getting ready for the concert. this weekend is best of broadway.
it's going to be really fun. i'm kind of nervous but not really. the others who are workin on "your fault" with me are pretty cool. and we practiced it with brittany after practice...and it was one of our best times. so hopefully tomorrow will be pretty solid. and the rest of the weekend.

so here are some cool things i've been shown over the past few days:
1) the zoe means life website. it's really neat- "the 1930's called....they want their word back."- and just shows how talented some people are.
www.zoemeanslifefor.us
2) youtube is pretty awesome. i mean videos on whatever, wherever, with whoever.
well, someone that was on a youtube video is someone that i admire VERY much. he's my best friend, my brother in Christ, my uncle: josh pope. he sang the star spangled banner, at the milwaukee 200 at the milwaukee mile . i'm really proud of him. he uses his talents and it's awesome when he does.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=tTCJUdrEFvM

so that is my ramblings for today. i'm ready to watch some gilmore girls and then head to sleep. i have a big day tomorrow. along with many others....
yay. excitement! :)

love
teia

i guess this past week has been somewhat exciting. but not really. not much has happened.

i mean we had isabel's birthday party. there was a bonfire and running around, breaking things, you know...the usual. then saturday isabel went off with her friends and i helped around the house and saw uncle dreas, jill and adler. adler was a little shy at first but then got used to all the kids running around and joined right in. a couple of times i looked over and thought it was aidan. he did the same run and jump onto the couch thing that aidan does all the time. after i saw them i worked. sunday we all went to church. minte was included. it was -i think- the first time she was able to come to isabel's birthday party. so her and isabel made it into a "birthday weekend" that was pretty exciting. plus we all love having minte here. :) we came home after church and cleaned up..watched a movie and jill and uncle dreas came back over with adler again. it ended up raining off and on all day long so there wasn't much to do. i worked again on sunday. then monday came and there was lots of sitting around and gilmore girl watching.
tech week for the best of broadway also started on monday. we went to practice and had a pretty nice time. erin and i talk talk talk. isabel and i talk talk talk...
and pretty much drive jen nuts.
sorry jen.
then joe and i talk talk talk. he's pretty funny and we get along which is a good thing considering i'm either dancing with him in each song or standing next to him. he's a cool kid and the oldest of a bunch of crazy siblings too. his mom is going to have a baby girl in just a few weeks now.
today michael showed up and walked in and said hi. and we're like michael...why are you here? haha. it was funny because michael knows that he can do that and we really don't mind all that much. they went on the canoe and i stayed with jen and the boys and zoe. then there was more best of broadway practice. it's coming together really nicely! i'm pretty excited for the shows. im a little worried about your fault in some places because i know how i'm supposed to act and look but it's getting there that's a little difficult.

you should try to come! it's going to be a blast.
it's friday night at 7pm, saturday night at 7 pm and sunday at 2pm.
it's in grafton at NSAA. there's pre-sale tickets or at the door.
or go to the website and the phone number is on there and some other "info"

im going to go show dad some pictures and then read or find something to do.


love .
teia

so tonight i got home from work...and was really tired. but i knew that i had to talk to kristin. it wasn't like an obligation or anything it was just like kristin and i hadn't talked since 3 am sunday morning....and i remember that conversation but i was a little tired. and she....well she was out of it. i missed her. also, her and i had been playing phone tag since like 830 last night. we both called each other at least twice.she called and left a message and then i ended up doing the same. back and forth.
we finally talked. it was for a couple of minutes but it was a good talk. i love talking to her. i loved hearing briefly about her weekend with josh and all the fun they had.
after we talked i went online and was just going to read up on a few things...i started pressing the stumbleupon button..over and over to see what i could find.
this one site came up that said, "what is love?" as the headline. i was thinking oh great. what is this? it ended up being this little blog entry thing..giving examples of situations and then saying nope...that's not love , that's infatuation. and on and on.
then it got to the couple of love situations. and i thought about the past weekend. and all the things that happened. i mean we had omi and grandpadu's 50th wedding anniversary.
they show love in everything. that's love.
i thought about dad and jen taking care of us...
that's love.
jen taking care of zoe the way that she does.
that's love.
kristin and josh...
that's love

-- i know that they might get mad at me..but..it's true. and it's cute.

i talked to kristin on the phone tonight. and i cried. she doesn't know it...but i did. i heard her talking about her weekend and it made me so happy. i can't imagine being in her position.
i can't really explain it better than that.

i was shown what love is and what it can be these past few days and months... and it takes my breath away.

it's an amazing thing and i don't think that there's a better word for it.

love
teia

exhausted.
that's just one word to explain how i feel after this weekend. but the other word or words is awesome.
i had such a great time. yes, i did end up staying up WAY too late and not getting enough sleep but it was worth it in a way.
saturday morning dad and i got up bright and early at 6 in the morning to go to the act which was about 1 hour away. we got there and everyone was really mad and standing in the parking lot. we had figured out that they decided to cancel the ACT..and not contact anyone. there were people come from HOURS away. and many parents were driving them. so i guess im taking the ACT the weekend of best of broadway. gross. i'll be extremely tired.
so saturday i hung out with ethan and aidan and attempted to help out around the house.
then we went and i met deirdre so she could give me a ride to the hotel and party.
we drove there and then hung out. keaton, brennick and temish and i walked over to culver's and had dinner and some custard.
the rest of the night we just hung out. minte decided to be hyper at about 130 in the morning it was insane. but i was laughing so hard and i got some good video out of it.
we didnt' go to bed until 3ish..then i slept for 20 minutes and kristin and josh called me up. :) i love those guys.
we talked for about half an hour about everything. actually most of it was really random but it was one of those nights when you could talk about random things and it felt totally normal. ok the truth is is we're just weird like that.
so we talked then i went to sleep and woke up at 730 got ready we left the hotel at like 930 and went to church to listen to grandpadu preach.
it was really nice.
later there was lots of practicing and running around but then we had the dinner and the service and everything turned out really nice.
i guess people liked the video even though it was being stupid and i was really mad about that.
it just annoyed me.
we danced and talked and it was really fun. now we're just all tired and ready to sleep for the next week.
ok well i should go straighten stuff up and finish getting ready for the day...

love
teia

for the past few hours i've been working on the video for omi and grandpadu's 50th wedding anniversary. it's a really neat (dude, the 1930's called....they want their word back)--sorry-- project to be working on. i have a bazillion pictures to put to different songs. and the first pictures start with omi being a baby. and grandpadu as a baby. i have pictures from their first date, a ton from the wedding and so on. i love looking through the pictures and just looking at the different styles and all.
well see i started downstairs at the table and was thinking to myself "ok good. we're getting kinda far. we have a song done...now a few more left!.just stay at the table and you'll get more done..and be able to have a nice relaxing day tomorrow." i didn't really listen to myself. shortly after i told myself this i looked at the clock and decided to make myself comfy and finish the video in the comfort of my bed. definitely not a good idea...i got situated with the blanket and the computer and everything. you know how when you get everything perfect the way you're sitting and all and then you realize you need something. well, of course, this is what happened. i got all ready to work on this project and then i realized "ooh i could really go for some of those fortune cookies leftover from lunch--that are sitting on the OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM!" of course this is what happened and being my lazy self. i sat and decided to write a blog on how much i dislike when things like this happens. so that's my "disliking" comment of the day...a written one at least.

and right after i'm done typing this, i will take the perfect thing that i have set up and throw it aside just to fall for those delicious fortune telling cookies. YUM

unless of course isabel comes into the room and being a wonderful sister decides to give me a cookie. :) keeping the perfectness in it's place.

night.
love
teia

banana-raspberry smoothies are awesome.
tonight i had one at work.and i think i just might become addicted to them.
;)
also, i've been using adjectives that start with the letter a. like awesome, amazing. etc. etc.

im pretty tired right now. i've been contemplating starting a new book for the past 2 hours. yet i decided to stay online and write to different people.

i have the cutest picture of me and zoe. she'll be 12 weeks on saturday. the past couple of days have been a little rough. i was talking to one of my friends tonight and he asked me how she was doing. i told him ok. i mean she's still living..she's having a little bit of a hard time breathing sometimes.but she's still alive. he laughed and was like oh thats a good thing. i said into the phone, well babies who have trisomy 18 don't live this long. the average life is 8 days. so yes it's good. it's amazing. awesome.
look at what He has done. it's a miracle. i love her. she's so cute. what would we do without our zo?
here are two pics of the first time i saw zoe.

i remember thinking that i couldn't believe how tiny she was. little peanut. oh baby.











there's some pics of us at the hospital. oh look at her. she's so tiny.



here's the one from yesterday. i did a zoe photoshoot with my computer..while she was sleeping. besides a little shifting..she didn't seem to mind.
love,
t

my favorite thing about this summer is reading. i've always loved reading. but with my laptop i'm able to read whatever, whenever. and yes, i do end up spending too much time reading pointless things. but sometimes i read some really neat things and it just gets me excited.

my absolute most favorite thing about last summer was listening to music with josh and isabel and michael, with the windows rolled down and driving. i kept thinking about that today. it was a really nice day out and while jen and i were driving home from BOB practice i thought about how awesome the breeze felt. and how wonderful it felt to be feeling the warm summer air and singing music with my eyes closed. i love it.

i figured out how to play part of STAY. it's so funny because it's josh's song. and i just went up to the piano the other day and played 3 notes and was thought "wow that sounded a lot like something i know." so i kept playing from memory what i thought to come after the notes i played..finally it registered that i was playing his song. and i laughed because that's ridiculous. i mean i'm playing one of my best friend's/uncle's songs. just like it's some famous person's song. :)
well i guess he does look like a movie star...whatever...i love that kid to death.

anyways. i always end up having a really good time with joe and erin and brittany at best of broadway practice. we all get along. they're all pretty cool.

ok. that's bout it.
love
t

sometimes seeing family and friends for a short amount of time is really cool. other times it really puts a damper on the day or week. for example, when i see kristin when she comes up for a weekend or day or whatever..im excited to see her all the time. i love it. i love being able to see her and catch up. and just do random things with her. sometimes because we talk so much it makes me feel like she lives closer..and when i see pictures of her with us at her house i imagine her house being closer. i told her when i went to chicago to see her that when i walked into the apartment i felt like i'd been there 100 times before because i'd seen so many pictures, heard so many stories and watched videos too. it was really cool.
when kristin has to leave or if we have to leave her...i just get in a bad mood. not because i want to. it's just cause i end up having such a blast that i don't know what to do without her. and i get worried about when we'll see each other next.
in a way all of this seems really stupid but it's just something that's been running through my head.

tonight after best of broadway josh, erin and i were talking...him and i were talking really fast and making things up just because we could and we're insane like that. it was fun. it was so us from last summer. and i loved it. it made me a little sad but at the same time i felt so excited and flying high. haha.
i'll explain better. don't worry. you know when you have that best friend that you tell everything to. even if you talk to them 24/7 you still find things to tell them. and you gush things to that person because you can and whenever you talk it feels like you never talk. i know that some people know what im talking about. isabel and minte probably do. they talk all the time. the two of them are always hanging out or talking on the phone, or online. yet when they talk they still find things to talk about nonstop.
i guess sometimes josh is my friend that i do that too. :) ok not sometimes. he's like the friend that if i'm really mad at him i can still talk to him and just get over the fact i'm mad about some stupid thing.
that's how tonight was for me. i was able to tell him a ton of things in a record time of 15 minutes. and it was fun. we were both talking nonstop...

oh summer.

love,
t

overtired mode.

one reason i don't like summer.
staying up late because i can. and have nothing better to do.
it's great being able to hang out with friends and all and not have to worry about school and homework and responsiblity....for the most part.
but i hate staying up late by myself. it's boring. i waste my time reading stuff that i could read during daylight time. and i just don't feel like sleeping.
although i think one of the reasons i do talk myself into staying up late is that it's so quiet and peaceful right now. ...i mean it's 240 right now and im listening to the ceiling fan, some bugs outside and a creaky bed. peaceful.
another bad thing about staying up late is getting hungry at weird times of day.
and the fact that i sleep through the whole morning.

ok. well..tonight i was bored as usual..usually after like 1130 i get bored so i start looking at stumbleupon stuff and people's facebook pages or myspace pages or just websites. anyways. i was looking at something and then thought of the Chapman family. i decided to find out what the kids names were and just look around. well the oldest boy who just graduated. his name is caleb. he has a website with a 5 track album. it's so neat. i love it. i've been listening to it all night/morning long. he has a blog thing too. it's like congratulate caleb on graduating. most of it is like congrats. and then goes into this whole thing about how sorry they are for the loss. which is really nice of everyone. i want to write something on his blog but i know that to him ill be comment number 510...and i dont know if that's enough. like for me. i just kinda want to comment on it and really hope that he knows that im here for him. even if it is just to send him an email or note saying that he's loved by people he doesn't even know.. or just an email saying hi.
sometimes that's all people need to make their day.
i'd probably just want an email about someone else's day...just to get my mind off things...
i dont know. sometimes i think most of this stuff sounds better in my head..then i put it down on the computer and it sounds totally different.

so i should probably go to sleep. mostly cause my eyes are killing me and i dont want to sleep all morning again.

i can't believe it's june 10 already!!!

the later it gets the more random things i will type.
so...as ethan sings:
so long, farewell
have some fun goodnight,
the sun has gone to bed and so must i....

oh the things 4 year olds sing.

night.
love
teia...
or 'T' as more and more are typing. :P cause teia's not short enough already.

ok so the last post is actually from today.
i started it on sunday. and then it saved as a draft. and i didnt finish until today. which is fine i guess. i just feel like typing on my computer but i cant rightnow. i think it was at dad's work or something. oh well.
its pretty late so im going to get to bed. see what happens tomorrow. probably not much.
the girls will be here. and ill probably read all day long. because that's what my life consists of.
which is fine...im not really complaining. i just feel like socializing with michael and josh. cause they'repretty cool most of the time. and they're really funny together. we also had tons of fun last summer and i know we can never do it exactly the same again...but it'd be nice in a way. just because we all grew really close last summer and it'd be nice to do the same. i guess life goes on..
we make some friends and we lose some. right now we're all just going different ways. that's pretty sad because we are/were really really close.

i guess right now would be the perfect time to write taht screenplay of our lives..or novel. it could be a novel that we turn into a movie. now that'd be awesome. i even have the perfect way of ending it. ....

....if only i were a wonderful writer....i just know the way the movie or book would look like.

we're done with school! graduation was on friday. i felt like crying. this past year's senior class was so awesome. i talked with a lot of the people and they were just really good people. jenna was the valedictorian. her speech was pretty amazing. :)
it was a pretty good night.

then on saturday was kellen's birthday. we had a little party thing for him. josh,michael and minte and allie were invited. it was a fun night with jelly bracelets, bling bling tattoos, pop rocks and ring pops... we played some golf in the backyyard. then of course there was a bonfire to wrap the night up.

now we've finished our first week of summer break. it was pretty uneventful. best of broadway practices are pretty fun and minte basically lives here. :) we love it.

ive been reading a lot...so far ive finished 4 or 5 books. it's been pretty good. in the afternoons ive been hanging out with zoe..we go on the computer. then we eat...and sit and watch some scrubs.
my one handed typing skills have improved greatly over the past few days. especially the right hand. cause i hold zoe in my left. ;)
so that's been my week. hopefully ill be able to get on and put on some pics from kellen's birthday and mine and minte's midnight snack.

now it's time for some doctor appointments and then a party at timmy's house for the night.
ill write more later....
love

so here's the sad thing. i've been trying to write this blog entry since monday night. it's now wednesday. and i still have it up saying "write me! write me" because i neglect to sign out and have this paragraph about the past week up.. so im finishing it ...finally. :)


mother's day was a week ago. we went to mom's and hung out. then we went bowling.
then last week was kind of a blur. on friday was jen's birthday. we had our choir concert practice after school then i went to prince caspian with a bunch of people. i really liked it. i liked how it was close to the book. we all hung out at andy's before the movie and then i came home and hung out with minte before i fell asleep. saturday it was 70-something out so i wore some shorts and minte and i went outside with the little kids. we took some pictures and put our feet in the water and just sat on the dock. it was really nice and relaxing. then minte isabel and i took the canoe out on the lake. it was pretty windy out..
we had our spring concert on saturday. it was interesting. i mean i was pretty psyched to go to the concert because we were doing songs from movies or t.v. shows. i really wanted to hear the band play the LOTR theme just because i had heard parts of it during 1st hour but i wanted to hear the whole thing. they did not do a bad job.
the choir sang fly me to the moon, some songs from choir tour and some other random songs. we didn't really get to sing any real special movie songs. well, we did sing hymn to the fallen and that was pretty neat. you could only hear the band though which really stunk but we had a fun time anyways. after all of our concerts we go and find a place with just the music people. we go and sing the doxology. it is one of the coolest things that our choir does. some people choose to sing harmony but most just sing the melody and even though some people are loud and some people are quiet...some are not the best and then there are those who you'd never imagine having those wonderful voices. we sing as our closing to ourselves. it's amazing. i can't explain it but anyways. we all gathered outside to sing the doxology and then of course mr. staub was "lost" so i went to go find him. in the time it took me to look for him, he was outside and they sang the doxology...without me. i was so mad. it was my favorite part of the concert. and then i told jenna and she was crying because it was her last concert. and she's my choir buddy. im going to miss not having her in choir next year. i dont know what ill do really. so that was saturday.
sunday we hung out. i worked and we went to church.
monday was school and work.
tuesday we started best of broadway. i was excited to start it but i can't believe that it's already been a year since last year's performance. im pretty ready for this year. so june is going to be crazy with work and best of broadway.
today i had work. the rest of the week i'm looking at more best of broadway. work. and work. and the possibility of kristin being up here for memorial day weekend. i need to study study study for exams next week. it's going to be insane because by the end of next week and graduation..i'm going to be a SENIOR! what?!?! ok. technically i won't be a senior till school starts again but whatever. close enough right?
anyways right now i really have to be studying my reviews and taking crap off my computer so i can get some new programs on it and stuff like that.
ill write more after this weekend.

bye.
teia

hey. so this past week has been pretty insane.
thursday we had the walkathon and walked 5 miles. then some people decided to tailgate outside. then we had some games and stuff going on at school. then we went to the girls' soccer game at CUW. it was pretty cool.
yesterday was insane. we had school till noon then isabel and i stayed at school to watch baby meredith!! she's soo cute. we both held her for a while and were very excited to see her. she slept the whole time. ;) we're just too good i guess. then the staub's took us home and mrs. staub saw the dresses. she loved them. and then she took a peek at zo. so we got home around 330 and jen got home around the same time. i ran around like an insane person calling people and grabbing things and throwing them in a duffle bag. then jen did my hair. and mr. pope drove me to meet erin at walgreen's to go to andy's. we drove to andy's got dressed and put makeup on. it was a struggle. she was laughing so hard that she kept almost poking herself in the eye with her eyeliner. she loved my dress!yay. :)
we took pictures with some other people. then we drove to the ball.
it was a fun night with lots of dancing, drama and friends. of course. erin and i went to andy's with the guys and ariel. we watched part of hitch and then came home.
kristin and i kinda played phone tag all day and into the night and early hours of the morning. by 3 when she called me. we think she just called to say that she'd talk to me tomorrow morning and night. but we're not sure cause i was sleeping and talking to her...and kristin was kristin. :P

ok here are some pics of the past week.traceys babies' shower, :) prom, etc..

this week has gone by surprisingly fast. let's see monday i worked. tuesday i had school and then was at home with everyone. then today i went to school and came home. it's been pretty exciting as you can see. i'm overjoyed with the fantastic-ness of it all. :)
tomorrow we'll have like 20 minutes of class then we'll have the walk-a-thon. that should be pretty cool. we're going to walk around the school. then there are some volleyball tourneys and basketball ones too.
i'll probably then come home and hang out until lost. friday we'll have a half day of school. we'll have like 20 minutes of classes. then come home. hang out. get hair done by jen. :) then get make-up done. go to andy's with erin and get dressed. thennnn go to prom. we'll dance and dance and dance. then andy will take me and erin back to his house. some other people will come over. we'll hang out. it'll be a good time.

of course. anything could change within the next 2 days...so im never sure what to expect. ;)
i guess i should probably eat dinner and do something like laundry.
sorry for the over-usage of "." they just pop in there.

oooh. im going to listen to this cd by this guy i know. he's pretty cool.

love
teia

wow. lots has happened since my last post. as always. ;)
that following weekend kristin came up from chicago. isabel, tracey, kristin and i went to mayfair mall and went prom dress shopping. isabel and i both found dresses. we were really excited. then that whole weekend we just hung out. it was really relaxing but fun because we got to see kristin and hang out. last week was long. i ended up being mad at people for no reason. i tend to overreact. so this is what happened. josh told me that we were going to take pictures for his cd early last week. and i was really excited. but then it kept getting pushed off. i was so angry because in a way i just wanted to get them out of the way and i didn't want it to be cloudy or rainy in the pictures. i wanted it to be perfect. but each day was perfect and i kept getting the phone call that it wasn't happening. finally thursday was the SET date. i was ecstatic. i was worried. i was nervous. i was happy, hyper, calm, collected and all the opposites. at the same time. i didn't know what to think. what was I going to do. i was going to see josh and take pictures. something i always do. i was going to do what i love for him...i was going to do this so that it could be a part of something that HE loves doing. i knew where i wanted some pictures. but i was just going to click click click and he would do his thing. what if they didn't turn out? what if something went wrong? what if.... there were the endless worries. but that's what i do best most times. so josh showed up during 8th hour and we said hi. then after school we went into the music room and he started playing and i started taking pictures. ones with reflections, hands, keys, face and emotion. listening to him sing. made me happy. i sang along. after there we went to the railroad track and took them there. i got over 100 pictures for sure. we got home and put them on my computer. and LOW AND BEHOLD. what happened. they all were mini pictures in one. 16 pictures in 1 4x6 picture. it made me so mad. but i couldn't be mad. so i laughed. i LAUGHED. hard. and long. and whenever i thought about it. i laughed some more. how could i do something so dumb and not realize it. i told dad and we tried fixing it....but more pictures would jsut have to be taken because those were not going to blow up and look nice. no they would be blown up and look crappy and pixelated. haha. so our PLAN B was for me to take off of school and then we would take pictures. thursday night we went to the ascension service at church. it was something we all needed. zoe was struggling last week and we all needed to sing. so we did. we sang like 2 songs but it was nice. after that we hung out. friday came along and it was cloudy. i was like ok. it's ok. it won't turn out like yesterday but it will still..oh i dont know. i was kinda upset. the "perfect" weather was going to have to be cloudy, foggy and muggy out. when josh got over and we stepped out the door it started to rain. of course. so i laughed. and laughed. then plan C.. take some pictures in the backyard. we took about 100 more pictures in the backyard.. they ended up NICE , really nice. nicer than i expected. we went to walmart and went shopping and then took more pictures at the railroad tracks. these were 10x better than the ones on thursday. the weather helped. God knew what He was doing once again. of course. i mean how could i doubt HIM? i did. but He knew what he was doing. josh and i were in love with the pictures. i didn't know how to process it so i laughed. i felt like an insane person but it was laughing or crying. laughing was easier and not as messy. ;)
saturday jen and i went to tracey's baby shower. then people from dad's work came over. it was a really nice time. i finally told josh late saturday night what was going on. i told him that i was mad at him at the beginning of the week. and that i needed him to be my friend. i don't know if i just don't show that i need someone or what. but i told him. i felt better. hahah. i told him how proud i was of his cd. i listened to it for the first time on saturday. it was calm, relaxing, and josh. it reminded me of being crazy insane with him and isabel and michael in summer. and i started to cry in the car. i missed it all. he's finally using his talents that God gave him. God gave me the opportunity to use mine with josh in away. i was able to take pictures for him and HIM.
yesterday aunt heidi and uncle phil came with the boys. deirdre, piera and temish came over for a while too. then i slept from 730 to 530. it was nice.

--he's using his talents.

ok here's a picture. one of my favorites. --->

here's a typical josh pic. :P (joshuA)--->



on that note. time for some sleep.
love you always.
teia

this past weekend was a really good weekend. friday we watched a movie and just hung out. saturday we had a photographer come and take some really nice pictures of the family. she was really nice and had some really amazing shots. her camera was pretty cool too. i think i just might have to save up for a camera like that too. we'll see though. :)

so many cool things are happening all around us.
at school, the staubs, mr. aleithe and his wife, and mrs. ott and family will all be welcoming new members into their families pretty soon. i'm really excited cause as audra would say, "BABY!"

at work my boss and all the other employees gave me a card for everything going on. it was really sweet and brightened my day.

at home. we're all happy for our days with zo-zo. :) and excited for the warm weather. i'm looking forward to taking the canoe out on the lake soon and just being able to ride my bike around the middle of nowhere. this weekend kristin's coming up and we're going prom dress shopping with tracey and her. also, we've all been singing songs to the Enchanted soundtrack. we all really love that movie and laugh at all the little things that happen throughout the entire thing.

we're just letting God say things to us and through us. sometimes it takes some time. but we're trusting in Him.

time to eat dinner and make some gifts.

love
teia

we're back.
after spending a nice day and a half in chicago. isabel and i are back on our home grounds in the WB.
it's pretty much been a bomb weekend.. like in a good way.
friday i got to be mr. g and miss yahr's gopher...so that was pretty neat. :)
and then we watched the importance of being earnest and slept over at deirdre's house.
saturday we got up.. ran around and got ready. then we headed to the windy city and got there before noon time. aussie, thomas, sam, minte, isabel, carl, kevin, piera and i all went to subway for lunch and then walked around in the rain. we went to old navy. and then to caribou coffee.after that we met up with kristin. isabel and i went with kristin and the rest of them went to hang out. we went to the store and bought food. then went home and made pizza and cupcakes. later her friends david, john and chad came over for dinner then we went to pippin. it was really great. the people were really funny and talented. kristin was a really talented violinist. :) after the play we went to kristins and saw lora. i was telling dad that kristins friends think we're insane. haha. but she just said.. "it's like you can totally tell you guys and josh are related..." it was really funny. so we ended up having a really fun time. and personally i cant wait to go back and maybe hang out for longer.

time for room cleaning.
teia

these are a few of my favorite things:
-music
-God
-family
-days at the beach
-thinking about the day we went to the beach...and i attempted skipping rocks
-talking to kristin
-seeing kristin
-talking to mrs. staub...cause she reminds me of kristin :)
-doing random things for the choir stuff..mr staub has me do
-watching all the teachers faces light up when they think of the babies that are coming
-watching the students faces light up
-making fun of timmy :P
-hugs
-getting phone calls from random people
-talking to aunt renee about not much..but she calls. :)
-talking to josh.
-giving back rubs
-getting back rubs
-listening to dad sing
-listening to jen sing
-listening to josh sing and isabel and erin and mom and all the aunts and uncles that i have.
-babies
-taking pictures
-hot showers
-reading
-writing
-playing piano
-singing
-singing really loud in church


with everything that's been going on lately. i've been trying to keep my head high as possible...in a good way. the "i'm staying strong and i can beat this and i'm still trusting" kind of way. today was just one of those days where my head didn't want to be up. i was awake and ready to go for the day. but it turned out to be a huge roller coaster of a ride day. right now my head's up and ready to rest up and take on a new day ..cause baby it's a new day.

"and it might not look like a beautiful sunrise..but it's a new day..oh baby it's a new day. "

i'm ready. thank You God...
this weekend is bout to be boom chink.

God has something to say -to us and through us.

love you.
teia

i am blessed. i mean right now. i get to sit here at home..and have this little miracle just lay on my chest...and she's starting to get antsy.. :)

break time.

ok. well that break ended up being a little over a day...really it was unintentional. but i started staring at her. and i couldnt let go. then everything else happened. you dont realize how much can go on in one day...until it happens. and you don't realize how many feelings you can go through in one day...until you go through that day where everything happens.
last night isabel talked to mom. after the baby was born and found out that things weren't going too well. she had a boy and things weren't going too well. that's all that i found out. last time i heard something like that...well it wasn't too long ago and it was the zoe news. she had t-18. once i found out things weren't going well for mom's baby too i don't know what went through my head first. i think it was something along the lines of 'oh my goodness. please God not again.' and then of course there was the weeping to follow but that's not too important. i mean i'm so blessed and i needed to just pray. just pray.
just before when i was writing an email to jackie letting her know about zoe, isabel came in the room and was like...did you talk to mom? of course i told her no because i only got home from work at 10..so no i hadn't talked to mom and what's going on?
then she told me what mom told her. the baby was born and they ran the tests. they found out today that he has t-21 or more commonly known as down's syndrome. my first thought was what??? and the second was.. i thought they tested him for that before he was born.
i'm keeping my head up and putting my trust in the Lord knowing that everything will be alright with Him.

after all of this happened i realized something. i've wanted to change my blog somehow, whether it be the title or what i write. then i thought of what my title is: God has SOMETHING TO SAY- to us and through us. it couldn't be more perfect. i'm not going to change it. He is saying something through me and to me through these past few weeks especially.

new day
robbie seay band

I'm gonna sing this song
To let you know that you're not alone
And if you're like me
You need hope, coffee, and melody
So sit back down
Let the world keep spinning ‘round
For yesterday's gone and today is waiting on you to show your face

It might not be
The prettiest thing that you'll ever see
But it’s a new day, oh baby, it’s a new day
And it might not look like
A beautiful sunrise
But it's a new day, oh baby, it’s a new day

I’m a pilgrim soul
I've traveled far and come back home
This land is hard and cold
For those who long to love
And I know it might seem
That the world is crumbling
But it’s me and you dancing in the kitchen at 2 am
And we're still alive

It’s the calm of the storm that comes blowing in
It’s the springtime saying I'm back again
The clouds that roll by
Crossing moonlight
Me and you love – everything's alright
Standing in the rain with nowhere to go
Laughing and we're spinning and I hope that you
Remember this day
For the rest of your life
Me and you love – everything’s gonna be alright

And it just might be
The prettiest thing that you'll ever see
It’s a new day
Oh baby, it’s a new day
If you look outside
To see a beautiful sunrise
It’s a new day

as i sit on the swing and think about
fairies and mermaids i realize that the
trees around me are listening and paying
attention to my thoughts. they
sway with the wind and bring the cool
breeze of tomorrow

before my own eyes i finally see Arthur pulling
out the sword from the stone and close by in
the sea the beautiful mermaids are silently
cheering him on. as the breeze picks up i close
my eyes and open them at the sound of
Harry yelling for Sirius to come back. as his
yelling ceases the breeze picks up yet again
and my eyes are forced shut.

when i open my eyes i am sitting in the swing
watching the trees move back and forth
with the wind. at that minute i know
the truth: fairy tales and legends come alive
each day.
-----

that was something i wrote write at the beginning of this year. i was really bored over break and wanted to do something creative and this is what i came up with.

i was telling paul at work today that maybe i should change my blog a little and actually talk about things that i know a lot about. it's a hard thing though...cause i know some stuff but at the same time ..i dont know enough on some subjects. right now i'm a pro at color and some light stuff. we just had our physics competition today and that's what our booth was about. i also know some more stuff about trisomy 18 and diabetes now because of zoe and selah. maybe i need to expand my horizons and learn a little more. at the same time though, it's easier just to write. really i'm writing about nothing in particular just because right now i don't have anything important to say....except that i should be taking a shower, eating dinner and then cleaning...and sleep.
maybe i should write a poem about sleep...and how much i need it. because no sleep means that i get stressed and clearly...tired , faster. i guess i know stuff about music and photography but i don't know enough to become an expert in those groups. maybe ill see what i should become an expert on. ill look some stuff up and figure something out..something that's interesting-clearly! :)

ok. time to actually do the things i said i was going to do.
later gator
teia

this is the time in the night when i should either be :
a) studying for my U.S history test. and review ....
or
b) getting some sleep .

rightnow i prefer B just because ...im exhausted and tired. and i dont need to get sick right now. but its like this. i have too much too do and like whenever we get home for a few hours to do homework, computer time, cleaning. and everything else. yeah...im going to have to reschedule osme of my things...like computer time. because...its going to take over my life. so really i shouldnt be writing this due to the fact that i have too many other things to be doing.

ever since i found out about zoe all that runs through my head is Matthew West's CD ..Something to Say .
the saying i have for the blog heading is :
God has SOMETHING to SAY- to us and through us.

right now, during our time of happiness and sadness and every other emotion we're going through it's so easy to see how true this statement is.
Each and every day of little baby Zoe's life God's saying things to everyone around the world through her.He saying something through us who are affected by her. I dont' know.
At first when Matthew West's new cd came out i was thinking that the cd name was a good one and that the video put together was awesome. Throughout the whole video he was talking about how when he had voice surgery he knew God was saying something to him...and through him. even in a time when he couldnt speak a word.
God was still using him.
How true that is. God is saying things through me every day....but through Zoe people's lives all across the world are being touched..i think that's amazing. it just awes me every time i think about it.

on saturday i got to hold zoe for the first time. she is the tiniest little girl i've ever seen in my entire life. she's so cute and im so glad that i got to holdher.

i hope we can go see jen soon cause i miss her...and it's weird not having her around..yeah i miss her.

ok. i really want to write more...but im tired. and homework still awaits.
good night.
love
teia

its day 4 for zoe. she was born at 1:30 am on saturday morning. a little 5 lb. 3 oz. little girl.
she stopped breathing twice since she was born so until sunday morning they had a breathing tube in her to make sure that she did keep breathing. her heart was not as strong as the doctors predicted it to be and so they monitored that. also she was a little jaundice..so they put her under the lights and she's been under them since saturday afternoon i believe. the doctors did a lot of tests on her right after she was born to figure out if there was something causing her to stop breathing or look to find any other problems. the test results came back today...she was born with an extra chromosome and they tested like 200 cells and 150 out of the 200 cells had the extra chromosome. basically what that means is that she won't make it. 45% of the babies that are diagnosed with this syndrome don't make it past their first month. 70% of the babies don't make it past 6 months and another 70% dont make it past their 1st year. so right now....we're just praying to make it through. we know that once she goes she'll be in a better place but it's the little tiny girl that we've all wanted for the past however many years..and she's going to be with Jesus sooner than any of us thought it would happen. right now all isabel, kellen and i can think about it just holding her because even though she's 4 days old we still haven't held her yet. we dont know when that day is coming yet...
we just can't forget that He loves us. and it's all in His plan...
i dont have much else to say....maybe this is how He's using us...He'll say something to us and through us through this time in our lives.

love
teia

waiting. it could be one of the most painful things in life. and it doesn't help when you're impatient like i am.
1) im stuck at home....and it's snowing.
2) this wouldn't be so bad...except for the fact that it is just me and kellen..and he's been playing computer games all day.
3) i thought i was going to watch the producers with josh and/or michael but have no word on what happened with them.
4) im "patiently" awaiting the call/email/some form of communication letting me know that things are moving along with zoe...but right now...waiting
5) it's 2 days before easter.....and SNOWING! geez louise. we're getting a whole lot of snow. and of course it's the year we DON'T go to FL. oh well
6) still waiting...and probably will be all day.


anyways. while i wait.
tour was AMAZING. despite the fact that many people were sick: i.e. throwing up, fainting.....etc. i took so many pictures and had tons of fun talking to mr. staub and timmy and abeni. and isabel. it was really fun. we went up over 12,000 feet to pike's peak. and then we stopped at the garden of the gods. the first day...on wednesday..it was 65 out! we were all really excited in our t-shirts and all. wednesday was a driving day...and listening to isabel talk for about 2 hours straight at 630 in the morning. yeah. i think mr. staub was just a little annoyed at her... hhaha. it's ok. then we played this cool game call imaginiff. it was mr. staub, abeni, me, timmy, isabel and mr. z...we all were laughing really hard at the different cards. then we had our first concert. it was our best one...and the one where we had all our choir members..
thursday was a driving day...we drove across NE and then to CO...it was soo pretty to finally see the mountains. you could tell we were tourists cause every person had a camera out and if the flashes were on....you would probably be blinded by the light. by thursday night we got to the hotel..and pat was sick. later inn the night we found out derek was also sick. so they shared a roomand their tour partner's were kicked out for the remainder of the evening. tom, jenna, timmy and i all watched most of the italian job..but mostly we ended up talking about a lot of stuff. it was a really nice time with them. then on friday morning we were all up and ready to go only to find out that our bus was not starting. :( we were all running around like chickens who've had their heads cut off. noone knew exactly what to do..but we finally got another bus with a new driver so that we could still go to pike's peak. before pike's peak we went to the garden of the gods. and even though we only had about 45 minutes to walk around we sure made use of those few minutes. it was soo beautiful.and it was snowing making all the pictures that were being taken even more beautiful. after our short walk we headed to pike's peak. i was really excited. we got on the train. and isabel, timmy, mr. staub, dana and meagan and i all sat in the booth by each other...it was really cool. we talked the whole way up and admired the view together. it was soo pretty . you could see for miles. and the clouds were low over the lower mountains. it was amazing. then we drove to the next church not too far from pike's peak. and when we got to our new church we saw our BUS! we were excited to see Dick-the driver..and our bus. we unloaded and got ready for our concert. before the concert. tom didnt really feel well so he sat out with derek and they hungout . when it was time for the chamber choir to sing pat started to faint. and actually did....freaking many -if not all-- our members out. mr. staub thankfully caught pat before he actually fell. then we all went to our host family's houses. ours was SOO sweet. i guess mrs. staub was in her daughter's wedding and the daughter was in the staub's wedding. so she was really nice. then the next day we drove to NE. and isabel got sick...oh yeah courtney got sick friday too. so on saturday night we sang without amanda wolf, michael, and nikki i think ...it was interesting. then my group stayed at a B&B. that was intersting....kinda gross actually.

finally on sunday we all went home...but not before...mat also got sick.
we were all very thankful to be home and well rested...FINALLY.

now we're just waiting for what happens next...while i wait some more..i think it's time to go shovel the snow. grrr.

love

teia

after a long wait...my laptop got her last week saturday..man..it felt like forever...it was like 2 weeks..so yeah. im on that right now.. boomchink. :P

last weekend was grandpadu's birthday party. on friday, aunt renee, drew ,connor cale and brook all came.and drew and connor came to the dance. and alexis did too. it was really fun. the dj pretty much sucked. but it was still a good time. i wore a dress that kristin lent me and everyone LOVED it. i did too.. so eyah.then we came back home and some people watched dumb and dumberer..and aunt renee, alexis and i talked for like an hour or so...it was really nice. we were talking about really random things. then after that we did dishes and minte adn i stayed up till like 3 in the morning talking on the kitchen floor. we talked about school and whatever we thought of. on saturday we got up and went to st .paul's..that was where the party was going to be. so we got everything ready and then aunt tari and her family came, aunt charis and her kids, kiki and allana and caleb, aunt renee and the boys and deirdre and her people and then our family..we played in the youth room and played volleyball in the gym for awhile. then we sang happy birthday and ate lots of good food. by the time we got home all of us were exhausted. but allana, caleb and kiki came over for a little while and we played apples to apples. it was really funny. then we all slept...on sunday we went to church and i worked. so its been pretty busy this past week.

during the week i worked on the tour book. and even though i got kinda annoyed with it...mr.staub knows that i really enjoy doing it.
i was showing it to mr. gast today..and acted like a real nerd telling him about it. haha. i told him. hey. look at this picture...what i did was a inverted the picture because the hands in it were white. so i inverted it so the hands were black and the background was white....to use less ink!!! haha. he was like wow...ok. :) it was funny. then i talked to mr. staub. he's really nice and i really enjoy talking to him too. its weird because sometimes i think that him and mrs. staub remind me of josh and kristin. haha. probably not..but sometimes the way they act they do.

this coming wednesday the choir is off to CO..its going to be soo cool. i just cant even imagine it right now..i mean im goin to go up a freaking mountain. its going to be so cool. sure ill get sick of the bus real fast. but its going to be boom chink. we're going to the garden of the gods and pikes peak..and then we're coming home. we'll be gone for 5 days..but im taking my laptop..so ill probably do a journal thing or something. and then ill end up getting bored and sleep. and sleep some more. and talk to some people. and then ill sit next to timmy for comic relief..and itll be a good time. :) ok i really gotta go..im goin to call kristin soon YAY. i love that girl with my whole heart.

ok.
love

teia

oh this past weekend. kristin was up for the weekend. and it was a great time. we had so much fun. on friday night the choir sang the national anthem at the varsity bball game. it sounded so neat. and so many people enjoyed it. Minte came over that night and we watched some friday night lights. love that show. aidan and i fell asleep on the couch and then minte slept on the couch too. and i kept kicking her cause i thought it was isabel..haha. and her feet were in my face. then i woke up and got ready for the day. then kristin called me and told me what was going on. josh was going to go to his record deal meeting in chicago and then we were going to hang out. so she finally got here and we jumped and screamed and were really excited to see each other. then we ate lunch and tried on dresses for turnabout. after that we decided we were going to go shopping. kristin told us her teaching papers got sent to sheboygan lutheran. so there could be a possibility that she would teach there. so we drove to sheboygan and got lost...haha. not my fault. i looked at the map.. and checked out the school. then went shopping at the mall up there. it was really fun. we went to kohl's and got baby clothes for zoe and then walked around the mall up there. haha. its' small. they had a bath and body works. and we got some lotion. the lady there was kinda following us around and asking us these questions whichwas fine. but then we were liek. ok. let's go get isabel's gift card and come back. we were talking to each other. and the lady was like. OK....see you guys soon. haha. it was slightly annoying. so when we were walking out kristin said.. what would happen if we didnt come back? haha. i love her. then we went to target....and got hair dye and make-up. really exciting. my birthday present from kristin was makeup..YAY. :) love it. and then she dyed my hair a brownish-red. it looks bomb.everyone loves it. then we drove home. and kristin talked to josh on the way home about his contract. as of right now...i've heard bits and pieces of it...but not really all of it. because he was sick of telling people by the time he got to me...so whatever. then i gave kristin her birthday present after we dyed mine and isabel's hair. it was the autographed picture of megan mullaly. YAY. then josh came over and we watched moulin rouge and ate some pizza. after moulin rouge we watched dumb and dumberer. i love moulin rouge by the by. :) kristin and i also made michael an awesome birthday cake for sunday...
sunday....we went to church and then people came over for michael's birthday thing...we sang for him. and gave him some cards. then we played scene it and talked. it was a really good time. we got some really great group pictures. i loved it. then we were goign to go bowling but the bowling alley was closed. so we went to starbuck's and were really loud. mhmmmm. josh and i kinda talked. but mostly. i was talking so that other people could have a secret conversation...great. then we dropped michael off at home. and drove home listening to disney music. once we got home we watched scrubs and ate more food. then they left. i miss kristin already..i dont know what im going to do. we'll see her at the end of march hopefully. but i guess we'll see about that. :(

i have so many things going through my head rightnow. i need to talk to so many people..but they're all doing things. GR. so im going to finally get off of the computer and go read. im getting tired. but hopefully ill get to get some more minutes on my phone so that this weekend when kristin has her birthday thing i can talk to them...


oh yeah..and i bought myself a macbook this past weekend! YAY..it's coming in the near future...ok.

off to read and hopefully talk to josh or kristin later...

love♥
teia

so....yesterday was a like a blizzard...the whole city was like closed ...and people were spinning out and it was a mess. josh just told me that the snow was up to his knees at his house. :) and he had to shovel his car out. haha. dad says he does not remember the last time there was this much snow....in like an entire winter..and in one day. banks were closed and banks NEVER close. obviously there was no school. and they even closed dad's work. today there was a dumb 2 hour delay. i hate those..they seem so pointless. dad and jen both had to be somewhere so kellen and i stayed and watched the boys and mrs. pope picked kellen up and took him to school...it took jen over 2 hours to get to her dr. appointment this morning. i stayed here because noone else could watch the boys. also, i took a nap..haha. i dont know what it is but snow days make me really tired. yesterday i lasted i woke up at about 6 and then stayed up till about 1030...we watched some movies yesterday. and i was really mad at josh because he wouldnt go and drive out here...but it was probably for the best...i mean it wasnt very safe outside..so thats good that he made that choice. i was just really bored...so basically i was just thinking about myself the whole time. so dad and i went and got some movies.. i fell asleep during v for vendetta..ive already seen it..but i NEVER fall asleep during movies...that i can remember ive only fallen asleep during 2...in the past year. one was pocahontas..haha. and v for vendetta...i almost did during cloverfield..but i was in a theatre and that's cause i wasn't feeling to hot. so yeah...today i shoveled and took some pictures. im going to send an email to simeon and graham in a few minutes...also, i made the boys lunch and talked to minte. and tried to make something for a birthday gift...but it wasn't working. then i napped. ahha. im kinda retelling things..oh well.

then jen woke me up and ive been watching the boys and listening to music...aidan's falling asleep..which is nice..he's been saying he was tired since this morning. ;) hmm...
i talked to josh just a few minutes ago. and you know when you need to tell someone something..but you can't bring yourself to it. well that's the way that i am. i need to tell him some important things..but i can't. i dont know why. i just hate telling people things..important things. so...but we talked on the phone about pointless things which was nice because sometimes it's just nice just to talk and listen to people. im going to just have to call him later and tell him and stop being a wimp because im stupid..that's probably why i can't keep a stupid friendship. because i can't tell them the small important things...the things that sit in my head for days and weeks. i can't bring myself to tell them..i guess it comes down to being rejected or seomthing..which is dumb because i know that josh will be my friend either way.

today i got a lot of new music also....it was really nice. i got the new Idina Menzel cd..and some free songs off of itunes. :) yay. im pretty excited about that. ok. im going to put this sleeping boy down and go write on the other computer...because i wrote a story that i need to type up.

ill write more later.

♥ always,
teia

post #80...woohoo.

it's only taken me about 2.5 years. but i'm finally at 80 posts! yay. :)

right now i'm not in school. no. i'm not skipping. it's a "cold day" . dumb. that's what i say. i mean i guess i'd rather be sitting around doing nothing than being in school and freezing my butt off. so today i woke up at 6 in the am. and then deirdre called and was like there's no school today...so i fell back asleep. best story ever right? haha. i know im great.

this is week number 2 for being at dad's. not much has been going on.

kristin has been on a cruise in the carribean --grrrr...she's tanning and im trying to get warm by sitting in every window with sun in it. also, kristin's coming back on saturday but i probably won't talk to her until sunday because im not sure when she's exactly getting back. today i'll probably call her and leave her a message.


josh came over for a few minutes on sunday and we talked and decided that we're going to have a LOST party tomorrow. more like watch LOST and eat lots of food. sounds like loads of fun iknow. then on monday we were over at the Pope's house and doin a little surprise thing for Mrs. Pope and i was looking at all of josh's music. holy crap. he has a lot. i mean...it's insane. but awesome. i really need an opportunity to take cool pictures of him because it's fun and i have a really cool idea.

erin hasnt really talked to me at all since my birthday. she's probably thinking that im not talking to her. but really the last thing i remember actually telling her was i was thinking about getting my hair cut really short. cause i'm really fed up with my hairright now. and sh'es like "oh...well good luck with that." and then i was like oh well thanks for your support...
later she was talking about getting her hair cut shorter....i was thinking seriously>!?!?!? so i said back to her..."well good luck with that." and jsut kinda ignored her. i mean. nvermind.

so this post has been sitting here waiting to be finished. and im talkin on the phone to my bestest friend in the world. joshua. ok we just figured out that we're headed out to lunch and then to hang out for a while. love you all and ill talk to you later.

yay for cold days.... :P

♥
teia