these past two days have been good and bad just like any other days. we all have our ups and downs. secrets and long talks on the phone, excitement for one person and it seeming like the end of the world for the other. i know that it probably doesn't make sense but i think my head has been through a lot the past day.

today i found a website called This I Believe. it got me to thinking about what I believe...again. So i wrote thoughts down. it's a real rough copy but here's what I have.

This I Believe
'He looked at his three oldest children, me included, and said , ”What do you believe?”. It was moments after we found out about our youngest sister and her Trisomy 18 which could take her at any moment. What do I believe? It’s a question that everyone struggles with whether or not they having a dying sister. Three weeks later we were asking ourselves the same question when we found out that our baby brother was diagnosed with Trisomy 21 or Down’s Syndrome. How was I supposed to live with two babies that were not as healthy as all the others? How was I going to live through this?
As I wept about these little gifts of life that God gave our family, I struggled. He cannot do this to me, I thought. Then I remembered one of the songs we sang in choir, “Rejoice in heaven all ye who dwell there in. Rejoice on earth ye saints below, For Christ is coming, is coming soon. For Christ is coming soon.” When I remembered those words for those weeks I became comforted. I knew He was with me and that He was going to lead me through this time. I gave it all to God and knew that He was going to take care of me and the whole family. When people hear about my brother and sister, they feel sad and sympathize for me. I don’t want them to be sad because I know what I believe. I know what He can do.
This I believe.
I believe that God will stay with you through any trial that you go through. He’s there right next to you. He’s listening to your prayers and He answers them in His time with His will. He can do anything like make the flowers bloom and the birds sing. He can make a baby who is not supposed to be living live for 122 days and more.'

soooooo. that's about it for today. i might write more later.

teia