Two years ago, I was having the best summer of my life. If someone would have come up to me and told me to get ready for my world to be turned upside down I probably would have told you, "We'll see about that..."

Well I wish someone could have warned me about the coming two years because they did get turned upside down.
Two summers ago, it was all about Josh, Isabel, Michael and me. The four of us. It seemed like there wasn't a day where we didn't talk or hang out. Six months later, Selah was diagnosed with Diabetes type 1 and then two months after that Zoe was born. Two weeks later, Cooper was born. The trisomy babies. Zoe with 18 and Cooper with 21. Living on the edge is the way to go in my family I guess.
Since then we've gone through Grandpa and GrandpaDu's health issues.
Just this summer.

Then we got the phone call yesterday that Josh was in the hospital. Later in the day he had a mild heart attack.

My heart broke.
into a billion and two pieces.

Probably because he's like a big brother to me...
probably because i just saw him on monday and he seemed pretty fine to me...just wiped.
probably because he's 22 and he had a heart attack.
probably because 2 summers ago we spent all our time together and now he's in the hospital.

(i realize that 2 years is a long period of time.)
Jen has gone to the hospital twice now. and she updates me from there...letting me know that he's doing ok. He's going on medication and that hopefully he'll be home by tomorrow sometime.

My heart is trying to slowly pick up all the pieces and start anew....again.

Before all this happened...yesterday jen and i were talking in the car we were talking about the swirl of a life we have. We've been through all this "stuff" in the past year and half...if you want to you can throw in the past few years. It's been quite a swirl. It might not stop any time soon. But for right now...standing in the middle of the swirl things are looking alright. We are blessed beyond belief. We still have Zoe, Cooper, Grandpa and GrandpaDu. Most of us are in pretty good health. If you step into the swirl...it will start dragging you under pretty quick though.

I'm going to stay in the swirl for right now. As much as I'm tired of crying and hurting for all these people. There's not much I can do about it...because there is hurt and lots of crying in this world for many reasons.

Time for me to just keep waiting... and waiting...like always.

come what may...
teia

hey please vote for my pictures and write some reviews! thanks so much!

Back in Black and White Photo Challenge Brickfish

Back in Black and White Photo Challenge Brickfish

have a great week!

tonight is just one of those nights that no matter how hard you try or how bad your eyes hurt..you just don't want to fall asleep. it's so frustrating. my eyes are hurting..a combination of crying and being open for 14+ hours.
within the past week i've been thinking a lot about my grandfathers. both of them. both are having health issues right now..and i dont know what to think about it. i saw grandpa at graduation and he was looking alright. and i saw grandpadu a few weeks ago.. and we were standing in our living room. i was showing him one of my drawing that i did at the beginning of this summer. he stared at it and said..wow that's incredible.
this past saturday i called mom to talk to her and she said that she was worried for grandma and grandpa as his health wasn't doing so great last week. on sunday our family made an emergency trip to green bay to see grandpadu and it was hard. he could barely lift his arms and was so in and out of it. it's incredible how just a few weeks can change drastically. 3.5 weeks ago grandpadu and i were standing in the living room talking about art. and this past sunday we were in a hospital room and he was asking about my graduation party..
i'm not sure how these next few days or weeks will turn out. God has a plan..i know it..but i'm just struggling with putting His plan before mine.

im going to try and listen to music and fall asleep...since it's now 340 and i cant fall asleep...stilL!

come what may.
teia

waiting waiting waiting.
for my new phone to come in the mail...it's killing me! :)
i'm pretty excited to get it..hopefully it will be coming soon!

erin and i took a nice bike ride yesterday and just hung out. it was really nice.

summer is almost over.. many people are starting to leave this week and next week already!
it's crazy! piera, erin, timmy, andy and most of concordia gangs will be gone in the next week. other colleges are starting toward the end of august beginning of september..
it's going to be really interesting to see what happens in the next few months! i'm pretty excited and a little weary of what will happen. but i guess we'll see!

sunday we made a quick visit to grandpadu in the hospital. we were able to visit with everyone in the family which was really nice!
i was so glad to see everyone..i've seen most of them earlier this summer but EVERYONE was there...

ok. it's time for me to gooo.

comewhatmay..
teia

in the past few weeks i've had some pretty great experiences. i was able to bike to port washington with a friend and it was really fun. we talked the whole time and got some good sun. :) although neither of us probably needed it. haha. and then this week i was able to bike to fox point with some other friends from work. all in all in the past week i've biked at least 50 miles! which for some people is nothing because they can do that in a day. but i'm not one of those people. i'm still working up on that ladder. :)

also, back on the fourth of july kristin called me to tell me she was engaged! the next weekend we were able to hang out for the first time in 7 months! it was such a great time! ever since then we've been keeping each other updated about what's going on. i'm so glad to have her as a friend. we've only known each other for the past 2 years. but it's been amazing!

hmm. i had my graduation party on the 31st which was last friday but it seems like forever ago already! i had some really great friends come and i was so excited to see them and be able to catch up with everything going on in their lives. most people start school or are leaving starting in the next week or two! that's insane. this summer has flown by and i'm just waiting to see what is in store for this next year.

work has been awesome. i'm becoming closer friends with each of the people i'm working with and i love being able to have friends there and not have that place just be where i work..but have the ability to have relationships with everyone i work with.

lately we've all been keeping grandpadu in our prayers because he's been having some health issues.

time for me to get some rest.

comewhatmay...
teia