Two years ago, I was having the best summer of my life. If someone would have come up to me and told me to get ready for my world to be turned upside down I probably would have told you, "We'll see about that..."

Well I wish someone could have warned me about the coming two years because they did get turned upside down.
Two summers ago, it was all about Josh, Isabel, Michael and me. The four of us. It seemed like there wasn't a day where we didn't talk or hang out. Six months later, Selah was diagnosed with Diabetes type 1 and then two months after that Zoe was born. Two weeks later, Cooper was born. The trisomy babies. Zoe with 18 and Cooper with 21. Living on the edge is the way to go in my family I guess.
Since then we've gone through Grandpa and GrandpaDu's health issues.
Just this summer.

Then we got the phone call yesterday that Josh was in the hospital. Later in the day he had a mild heart attack.

My heart broke.
into a billion and two pieces.

Probably because he's like a big brother to me...
probably because i just saw him on monday and he seemed pretty fine to me...just wiped.
probably because he's 22 and he had a heart attack.
probably because 2 summers ago we spent all our time together and now he's in the hospital.

(i realize that 2 years is a long period of time.)
Jen has gone to the hospital twice now. and she updates me from there...letting me know that he's doing ok. He's going on medication and that hopefully he'll be home by tomorrow sometime.

My heart is trying to slowly pick up all the pieces and start anew....again.

Before all this happened...yesterday jen and i were talking in the car we were talking about the swirl of a life we have. We've been through all this "stuff" in the past year and half...if you want to you can throw in the past few years. It's been quite a swirl. It might not stop any time soon. But for right now...standing in the middle of the swirl things are looking alright. We are blessed beyond belief. We still have Zoe, Cooper, Grandpa and GrandpaDu. Most of us are in pretty good health. If you step into the swirl...it will start dragging you under pretty quick though.

I'm going to stay in the swirl for right now. As much as I'm tired of crying and hurting for all these people. There's not much I can do about it...because there is hurt and lots of crying in this world for many reasons.

Time for me to just keep waiting... and waiting...like always.

come what may...
teia