wishing all my family, friends and strangers Happy New Year's!
Hope you have a good one. Ta ta to 2009!
God Bless,
teia

lately i've been having dreams about grandpadu.
like multiple dreams. last night i know i had one about him. i just don't remember what it is right now.

a few nights ago i had a dream that we had gone to their old house. about half of their things were still at the old house and the other half was at the new. it was just how they lived- in the two houses. but they spent the majority of the time at their old house. it seemed like a cure for grandpadu. whenever he was at the new house he was sick and not doing well but while he was at the old house he seemed to be his old self.

when i woke up the next day i started to tell dad and jen about my dream and realized why i had had a dream like that. and dad confirmed it the same time i had my realization. the last time we had seen grandpadu "fine" and not sick like he is now was when they still lived in the old house. subconciously i must have been thinking about it but i hadn't put two and two together otherwise.

most of the time i have dreams and they don't make much sense but then there are other dreams where i can remember them clearly and it's like trying to get in my head and make me realize something.

for thanksgiving we went spent half of the time at with the pope's and the other half with omi and grandpadu. we ended up spending the night at omi and grandpadu's. i didn't really get to talk to grandpadu much but on friday before we all left to get our christmas tree i said bye to grandpadu. i said, "bye grandpadu. see you soon." he was staring off into the distance and said, "i hope so."
in the past few weeks this conversation has been playing over and over in my head. it has become something that i will always remember. i've struggled with deciding whether or not to write it. the exchange of these few sentences has changed meaning in the past few weeks also. at first it meant i'll see you soon here- on earth. but then the changing maybe has warped a bit into. i'll see you soon- in heaven. either way we both meant this conversation i hope both -on earth and in heaven- are true.
He hasn't taken either grandpadu or me (obviously) yet but when He does, "i'll see you soon."

i try to explain to others the friendships i've had and how each person has brought an awesome and different perspective into my life.
every once in a while i think they get it and other times i think they are just nodding their head and smiling just to make me feel good.

each of my friends have shown me the endless measures of love, they have shown me what it means to love life and friends and...music.

my family has shown me that also but in such a different way.

if there is one thing my friends and i have in common it is the love of music. all different types of music. they've grown accustomed to my music and i, theirs. josh and kristin have shown me to love soundtracks featuring john williams, michael giacchino and hans zimmer, along with many others. erin has showed me how to appreciate many different songs on the radio i wouldn't have given a second glance.

if only they knew how much of an impact they have had on my life so far and will have in the future...

comewhat may...
teia

sometimes i wish missing wasn't even possible.

then there'd be no crying and hurt.
although on the other end it makes the reunion usually so much better.

basically right now i think missing others sucks. cause it ends up being lot of crap where you say you can't wait to hang out and how you miss the "good old times.."
majority of the time, i think i'm the only person actually missing the "good old times" and really needing to hang out with someone.

...i need a friend who can hang out all the time and talk...

if you know of someone who won't leave me ...let me know...cause i could really use my old friends right now even though they are all across the country and one isn't even a friend anymore. well i'm not sure. i hope we are. i just don't know.

ok i'm tired and a mess. i think this means sleep is needed.

comewhat may...
teia

Last night I was able to go to the first choir concert of the year at LWLHS. surprisingly enough it was somewhat hard to go to. I walked in and there was all the acapella people talking in the hallway getting ready to walk in and getting all lined up...or as close to it as possible. We sat down and I was able to watch chorale sing a few songs and then it was the band. At one point Ethan turned to me and said, "what movie is this from?" i told him i wasn't sure...hmm. I think i'll have to look that one up or even just ask Mr. Staub. Then acapella came up and sang and they were good. I was so glad to be able to hear them. I turn to deirdre and minte and told them how weird it was to be sitting down at one of the concerts because the last time i had sat through a concert at LW was probably 6 years ago for their christmas concert. It was before mr. staub and before they decided to have the concerts in the gym.

Of all the things I miss the most about high school and just school in general right now it's choir. I miss being able to warm up and the feeling of accomplishment after we finish a song perfectly. I miss being able to judge the song as a member of the choir and remembering that next time I need to fix little parts here and there. I loved being an alto. haha. I loved being able to listen to the clashes and what weird songs we get to sing or what spirituals we're doing for this concert.

I talked to Mr. Staub after the concert and it was so nice to talk to him. We talked about random things for just a few minutes but I am so glad I did.

For four years choir was one of the biggest parts of my life. We had choir tour, great friends, crazy drama and stories from the different churches we sang at throughout the year and through every tour. We had a wonderful director who I can't even begin to thank how choir changed my life and my perspective on music. I am so thankful.

Maybe in the future I can join some type of choir where I do sing again. I'm not the greatest or anything but maybe. But nothing will change the way I felt about LW's 4 years and how being in that choir changed my life.

Don't we all just wish we could have this sign for our lives? "Emergency exit, turn handle to left and then push open." So when you screw up you can just use your emergency exit.

(I took this picture a few weeks ago on the megabus from cleveland to chicago. I guess i never realized how much I really do just like the picture. It was something fun to take a picture of while I was on the bus and now I just think it's a cool picture. )

In a way I think we all have our different emergency exits or outlets. Sometimes it's not the best for our well-being but we just do it.

Right now. I think there are so many people who are using those emergency exits and then getting into bigger trouble instead of the other way around. Those emergency exits are supposed to help you.
If while I was on the bus and we got in an accident and I needed to get out I'd use the emergency exit. It would aid me to safety, not lead me to something worse.

I just worry for those who are using those emergency exits in the wrong way. The bus is driving smoothly at 65 MPH and then you just "test" that exit out. It doesn't work that way.

So i've been working like crazy lately..
What a life. hahaha.
Also, i went and visited kristin in ohio and then went to CUC and saw piera, timmy, ashlyn and breenna. it was a great time. LOVED it.

so im really cold right now and don't actually feel like writing much. i just had to put something down. haha

come what may..
teia

the swirl. keeps getting bigger and bigger.

josh still hasn't talked to me much since before his stuff happened..which is fine as long as i get updates from jen. i just worry. i just hope and pray he's alright. And that he knows that i'm worrying about him and hoping and praying that he is alright. I don't know sometimes though.

jen and zoe went into a sleep study tonight at children's hospital. it was just supposed to monitor how she does while she sleeps..like if she has some type of apnea or if she has night terrors they can determine what to do from these studies. when they saw her "numbers" after hooking her up and having her FINALLY (after 4 hours of crying) fall asleep, they weren't good. this can cause damage on her heart if she isn't getting the oxygen she needs to the rest of her body! and her other numbers have a HUGE effect on her also.

the swirl keeps going.

besides that, i've been working just about every day. and right now i'm exhausted. it doesn't help that with what i know right now...these coming days are going to get harder with schedules and hospitals. oh...and as if it doesn't get ANY better. i also have a cold. WONDERFUL.

waiting some more...

come what may...
teia

Two years ago, I was having the best summer of my life. If someone would have come up to me and told me to get ready for my world to be turned upside down I probably would have told you, "We'll see about that..."

Well I wish someone could have warned me about the coming two years because they did get turned upside down.
Two summers ago, it was all about Josh, Isabel, Michael and me. The four of us. It seemed like there wasn't a day where we didn't talk or hang out. Six months later, Selah was diagnosed with Diabetes type 1 and then two months after that Zoe was born. Two weeks later, Cooper was born. The trisomy babies. Zoe with 18 and Cooper with 21. Living on the edge is the way to go in my family I guess.
Since then we've gone through Grandpa and GrandpaDu's health issues.
Just this summer.

Then we got the phone call yesterday that Josh was in the hospital. Later in the day he had a mild heart attack.

My heart broke.
into a billion and two pieces.

Probably because he's like a big brother to me...
probably because i just saw him on monday and he seemed pretty fine to me...just wiped.
probably because he's 22 and he had a heart attack.
probably because 2 summers ago we spent all our time together and now he's in the hospital.

(i realize that 2 years is a long period of time.)
Jen has gone to the hospital twice now. and she updates me from there...letting me know that he's doing ok. He's going on medication and that hopefully he'll be home by tomorrow sometime.

My heart is trying to slowly pick up all the pieces and start anew....again.

Before all this happened...yesterday jen and i were talking in the car we were talking about the swirl of a life we have. We've been through all this "stuff" in the past year and half...if you want to you can throw in the past few years. It's been quite a swirl. It might not stop any time soon. But for right now...standing in the middle of the swirl things are looking alright. We are blessed beyond belief. We still have Zoe, Cooper, Grandpa and GrandpaDu. Most of us are in pretty good health. If you step into the swirl...it will start dragging you under pretty quick though.

I'm going to stay in the swirl for right now. As much as I'm tired of crying and hurting for all these people. There's not much I can do about it...because there is hurt and lots of crying in this world for many reasons.

Time for me to just keep waiting... and waiting...like always.

come what may...
teia

hey please vote for my pictures and write some reviews! thanks so much!

Back in Black and White Photo Challenge Brickfish

Back in Black and White Photo Challenge Brickfish

have a great week!

tonight is just one of those nights that no matter how hard you try or how bad your eyes hurt..you just don't want to fall asleep. it's so frustrating. my eyes are hurting..a combination of crying and being open for 14+ hours.
within the past week i've been thinking a lot about my grandfathers. both of them. both are having health issues right now..and i dont know what to think about it. i saw grandpa at graduation and he was looking alright. and i saw grandpadu a few weeks ago.. and we were standing in our living room. i was showing him one of my drawing that i did at the beginning of this summer. he stared at it and said..wow that's incredible.
this past saturday i called mom to talk to her and she said that she was worried for grandma and grandpa as his health wasn't doing so great last week. on sunday our family made an emergency trip to green bay to see grandpadu and it was hard. he could barely lift his arms and was so in and out of it. it's incredible how just a few weeks can change drastically. 3.5 weeks ago grandpadu and i were standing in the living room talking about art. and this past sunday we were in a hospital room and he was asking about my graduation party..
i'm not sure how these next few days or weeks will turn out. God has a plan..i know it..but i'm just struggling with putting His plan before mine.

im going to try and listen to music and fall asleep...since it's now 340 and i cant fall asleep...stilL!

come what may.
teia

waiting waiting waiting.
for my new phone to come in the mail...it's killing me! :)
i'm pretty excited to get it..hopefully it will be coming soon!

erin and i took a nice bike ride yesterday and just hung out. it was really nice.

summer is almost over.. many people are starting to leave this week and next week already!
it's crazy! piera, erin, timmy, andy and most of concordia gangs will be gone in the next week. other colleges are starting toward the end of august beginning of september..
it's going to be really interesting to see what happens in the next few months! i'm pretty excited and a little weary of what will happen. but i guess we'll see!

sunday we made a quick visit to grandpadu in the hospital. we were able to visit with everyone in the family which was really nice!
i was so glad to see everyone..i've seen most of them earlier this summer but EVERYONE was there...

ok. it's time for me to gooo.

comewhatmay..
teia

in the past few weeks i've had some pretty great experiences. i was able to bike to port washington with a friend and it was really fun. we talked the whole time and got some good sun. :) although neither of us probably needed it. haha. and then this week i was able to bike to fox point with some other friends from work. all in all in the past week i've biked at least 50 miles! which for some people is nothing because they can do that in a day. but i'm not one of those people. i'm still working up on that ladder. :)

also, back on the fourth of july kristin called me to tell me she was engaged! the next weekend we were able to hang out for the first time in 7 months! it was such a great time! ever since then we've been keeping each other updated about what's going on. i'm so glad to have her as a friend. we've only known each other for the past 2 years. but it's been amazing!

hmm. i had my graduation party on the 31st which was last friday but it seems like forever ago already! i had some really great friends come and i was so excited to see them and be able to catch up with everything going on in their lives. most people start school or are leaving starting in the next week or two! that's insane. this summer has flown by and i'm just waiting to see what is in store for this next year.

work has been awesome. i'm becoming closer friends with each of the people i'm working with and i love being able to have friends there and not have that place just be where i work..but have the ability to have relationships with everyone i work with.

lately we've all been keeping grandpadu in our prayers because he's been having some health issues.

time for me to get some rest.

comewhatmay...
teia

hey so i'm trying this kind of contest for the first time just to see what happens.
please vote for me!!! that'd be great! thanks!

My Favorite Photo (I've Ever Taken) Brickfish

july...already. holy crap.
i really can't believe it. time has flown and it's been crazy. june was a pretty chill month.
so much happened and i wish that i could say right away that i've grown from it but i can't really say that right now. i'm still working on growing up..it's a little hard. :) i hate being selfish and self-centered. so i think my goal for july...and on out is to work on not being those things.
it's something i really struggled with last month and it's tearing me apart.
basically that's been my life in a nutshell for the past month.
whew.
and i think that's it. time for some partying with some wonderfully lovely people.

comewhatmay...
teia

isabel's 17th birthday was on monday...and to celebrate we got our cartilage pierced. when she turned like 9 i think...we got our ears pierced. it's a great tradition. haha. every 8 years get something pierced. ok, don't really do that...cause that would be weird. but it was something fun to do. :)

comewhatmay...
teia

graduation parties..and more graduation parties is the best way to explain this past weekend. it was crazy. erin, isabel and i went to aaron and eddie's grad party on friday night and had a blast. we ended up staying all night and just having a lot of fun, hanging out and talking and playing ladder golf under the party tent while it was raining. :)
then on saturday we went to cassie's grad party for a while and swam in her pool...it was a good time. we headed to andy's for a bit to have a bonfire.
yesterday and today have been scorching hot outside...we have the air on...it's sooo hot outside. :)

ok im going to go do something productive.

comewhatmay.
teia

....so i'm working on updating the look of this blog...
and downloaded a few templates...
right now...i think i like this one...there's just some spanish that i had to read to figure out how to work it. and considering i don't know spanish...it was semi-difficult. also. that's why there are links on the side in spanish. yeah i'm working on changing those.....

comewhatmay...
teia

last sunday june 7,2009 was my grandpadu's last sermon at his church in Luxemburg WI. Almost the whole family was there to have a little get together and sing for grandpadu and Jesus. :) I had an awesome time although us older cousins had nap time in the living room while everyone else was running around. I noticed while looking at pictures that us cousins look SOOO much alike even though we are all pretty different.. here's some random pics of the cousins from the past few times i've seen them.

dad took two pics of all the cousins...minus 3...i think that's everyone else. we were missing keaton, ella and adler.

gabi LOVED playing with zoe and telling her mom about the baby. :)

...the big question is...What have you been doing for the past couple weeks?!
Well I've been doing a lot of stuff...including a lot of nothing. :) Lately though I've been painting. I took up random jobs around the house to tackle painting different rooms. I've really enjoyed it and hopefully will be able to get some more done soon!
Erin and i worked on the bathroom...i didn't take a picture...cause it's a bathroom. and i thought that'd be weird. Also we painted a wall in mine and isabel's room bright green. it looks pretty sweet.

The green we had left over i used for part of the girls' room. I did three walls this purpley-lilac color...and then one wall the bright green. they really needed something to brighten their room up and these colors definitely did! after finishing the purple i traced different sized circles all around the room in clumps and by themselves to create bubbles! there was a lot of time put into it..but i had fun and it was my "alone time" :) i was so happy to hear that the girls LOVE IT...if they hadnt...i was going to switch rooms with them. ;)comewhatmay...
teia

it's summer.
ok. well not really but close enough.
i have one exam (pre-calc) and then graduation. and i am done with school.
this week just really hit me...and like i didnt really appreciate this year until this past week. i totally took it for granted. and now im like crap i shouldve hung out with all these people and made these friends months ago. but no. i made friends the week before school ended cause im an idiot. then im not going to see these people for a while now. great. im an idiot.
anyway. besides that.
it's summer. that's right because tonight i got my first mosquito bite and it's been driving me nuts. it's on my foot.
basically tha'ts it for right now. ok im going to go watch glee.
comewhat may...
teia

prom pictures.

prom09

have fun looking!
comewhatmay...
teia

the worst part about the school year ending is that i've just started making new friends. which im sure i can keep...but not being at school is going to be weird. but the other worst part about school ending and mostly high school ending is choir. it's been almost my life for the past 4 years and whenever i just needed something to cheer me up it would be with choir. i loved majority of the songs we sang. it was with a great teacher and some there were only a few people in it all four years. it's been awesome being able to spread the word to people all over the country through our choir tours and even with our concerts at home. next year and the years to come i'm going to miss being in choir and under the direction of mr. staub. i think that even if i would join another choir it would be so weird because he isn't the director. :) it's been pretty awesome for us because we started as freshman and he started as a new teacher the same year. we've learned our way around LW through the four years..and now it's coming to an end.

erin and i have endless stories about mr. staub and well the music room too. it's been such an awesome fours years. next year i dont know what i will do without these two people in my daily life.
well that's another post for when school starts again and erin's off to CUNE and mr. staub's at LW and i'm here...doing whatever.

comewhatmay...
teia

here are some pictures from our last choir concert. one is of erin and me and mr. staub. we were laughing about something. and then the other picture is with the people who have been in choir all four years with mr. staub.

prom was on friday.
it was amazing.
more updates and pictures coming soon.
must finish a paper and sleep
comewhatmay...
teia

finally finally finally. here are some pictures from florida.

FLoRiDa

it's pretty neat. and they're all jumbled up but they are there.

also. im pretty excited cause prom is in like a day and a half. AHHH. excitement. :) and josh is going to be my date. haha.
pretty funny. anyway. its going to be a great time.
also....i've just been having some good times at school.
ok i have to work soon.
comewhatmay...
teia

so much is going on these next few weeks. it will fly by.

well for the month of april some things got kind of crazy also. we've had musical practice till 5 basically every day. then a group of us went to a play at WLC and that was fun. i was able to eat a cinnabon...which i haven't had in YEARS. then erin and i split chinese food. :) yum.
it was a good night.
then spring break we went to florida. it was such a great time.
i was able to get some great photos that i will put into an album for everyone instead of putting them all on here individually.but the one above is one i absolutely LOVE!
one of my friends is buying a huge copy from me once i figure out how to print it. if you'd like a copy..comment and then email me. i have some other versions of this one too.
so in florida basically all i did was lay out by the pool and on the beach. sounds boring but i dont remember the last time i was able to do that. it was so glorious because i was able to take in the warmth and sun for an entire week.
we were able to borrow the klahn's van. it was so nice. and then all of us piled in. we went to the beach and pool every day.
last wednesday after watching LOST i was talking to one of my friend's online. i knew that her mom had been struggling with her health (she had cancer) the past few weeks. so i asked about her mom and how things were going. the girl told me that her mom had died the night before. i was shocked. i didnt know what to do or how to respond. i was so upset. i could not imagine losing a parent as a senior in high school and within the last month of school. so we talked a little more. and she kept telling me that she knew her mom was in a better place and wasn't hurting anymore. all i could respond with was ,'wow, you are so strong!' i didn't know what to say. within one day of her mom dying she was talking to me and telling me that she was alright and knew that things were going to be ok. wow. amazing. what an awesome girl. God is really working on her. i just know it.
i told dad and everyone else and right as it was coming out i just started bawling. i didnt know it just couldn't stop. i said her mom died. and i lost it. one of my friend's mom had died. i was shocked. after taking some breaths i was able to go down to the pool late at night and go for a swim. the air was cold but the water was so warm and it felt nice to just be able to close my eyes and swim back and forth. it was night and quiet outside. lights were shining from each cottage and i just had to take a step back from everything.

erin and i were away from each other for a week whihc hasn't happened in almost over a year. we're always together and talking. so we had the chance to talk online for a few days and then i talked to my friend aaron too. it's awesome having to friends erin and aaron. and then have an aunt erin and uncle aaron. how confusing. :) i guess i must like the name. ;)
oh well we were able to talk and stay close even though we were over 1000 miles apart.

then as a family we went to fudpucker's. i love that place. it's so good.
the last day i was able to see paul and sam, who i work with and one of their friends, laura. they were staying next door to us...well pretty much! it was so awesome. so we went in the ocean and talked for a bit.

on last friday we drove home. it took us 18.5 hours to get home..with a 2 hour stop. that's really great time.

this past week we've had practice till 6 and then we get home...and do homework and chores. its a great time..
this coming week is tech week. im so scared for what is going to happen with that.
next weekend is the musical. the weekend after that is the walkathon and fun day.
the weekend after that is prom. the week after that is just a regular week and then we have exams.
then GRADUATION.
i'm graduating!

ok. kellen and i are talking and people in my class hate me for some reason..it's really weird.

im going to go. read. bed. finish talking to erin.
comewhat may.
teia

i just have a few words to say.
boys.are.trouble.
i dont even know anymore.
my head is saying one thing.
heart is confused.
one friend is like. ahhhhh cute.
the other has no idea really
geez.
boys. why?!


they are really confusing.
and i cant type full sentences about this whole situation.
time for sleep

comewhatmay...
teia

today is the day where i dont know whether to start laughing or crying...
we never thought that it would come this far and now it has.
so as i sit here at 12.30 in the morning i sit and do a "smile-cry" just because we're here.
a year ago this week is something i'll never forget. what a weird thing to say. but i know it won't ever slip.

a year ago this week..it was three days after zoe was born..the tuesday of spring break. i remember dad coming home and telling isabel, kellen and i that it was only going to be a few days that she'd live. we were going to live each day the best we could. we were going to fight it through together and with His help.

a year ago today our lives changed. our lives change every day but this day was something different. God has something to say through each of us. and since day 1 He's been speaking through zoe. this little baby who is now not soo little anymore. how many people has she touched? how many people has God gotten to through zoe's life? we know that the blog is reaching people all over the world and videos are being posted regularly by dad from those people wishing the little girl a happy one year.


so. a year ago today...it was a good day. no matter what kinda crap happened in between that saturday early earlly in the morning and right now on sunday morning...it was a very good day.

comewhat may...
teia

So i was reading this article and Mandisa was talking about how part of her hopes that Danny wins American Idol....season....well, whatever season this is. :)
i guess we'll see about that.
and how is that for random.


well today was a productive day.
i was able to take my senior pictures...FINALLY. and they are looking awesome.
i just can't wait to see them again.
andy let me take a peek at them....to just see..and i love them! now i have to wait two weeks or soo for the online gallery thing. SO. we'll just see about that.

also on the agenda for the next few weeks...choir tour countdown has started we're at t-11 days.

turnabout is t-6 days and zoe's bday is t-8..well soon to be 7...oh well. we're having this huge party i guess.
um that's bout it.

comewhatmay...
teia

so much has happened. i guess.

kristin was really sick for a little bit and ended up going into the hospital. she had a kidney infection...so we prayed for her at school. i went in for student help day to get help with pre-calc. then i helped mr staub for like 4 hours. i organized a ton of stuff in the back. helped erin tape her music audition. there was a point where i pressed record and she's giving thumbs up with this hilarious look on her face. haha.
then erin and i hung out..i guess that's basically my life...erin and i hang out and then i work and go to school. literally that's my life right now.
we have a three day weekend this weekend..which is great and awesomely wonderful.
im supposed to have senior pictures tomorrow morning...hopefully. and next weekend we're having a birthday bash for zoe. next friday is also our turnabout dance. i'm pretty excited. i think just because it's a dance. and that will be exciting. erin and i went to boston store last night and i tried on one dress...I LOVE IT! it's so pretty but i dont know. it's too expensive...so i'll just have to look around.

in a few weeks we'll have spring break and then we're headed to FLORIDA. yayyy. oh man. oh and we have choir tour in like 12 days! ahh. oh my gosh. 12 days. that's not too far away. crap.

ok i have to work on the tour book and my room. there's just too much to do and right now...i dont feel like doing any of it.

comewhatmay...
teia

oh my goodness. my feb posts are lacking.
sorry bout that. i was kinda busy for the past few weeks i guess.
the musical practices have started and im working too...along with keeping my grades looking pretty hot for the most part.
erin and i are still hanging out most weekends. which is awesome. like last night we went to the lake country game at lake country. we ended up winning. then mal, erin and i went to starbucks and hung out for a bit. it was really fun.

jeff, ryan and i have been working most saturday mornings which is awesome. those guys are so much fun to work with. we really get along and end up getting a lot done.

thats' basically been my past few weeks. that and bugging staub most of the time when i see him. haha. it's all good though.

comewhatmay...
teia

not much is going on here.
it finally warmed up last weekend to aroudn 60 degrees. everyone was ecstatic that warm weather is "here"...don't worry...it's not going to last. then on tuesday it was also really warm too.
zoe's been sick for the past few days but other than that not too much has happened since i last wrote.

we found out what musical we are doing this spring. but other than that. im not sure any of it is newsworthy.

it's time for me to have something exciting happen. :)

ill write more some other time.

comewhat may...
teia

friends are friends forever....

songs have been flying through my head for the past couple minutes and this one is my favorite as of right now.

i think that it's an awesome song right now because it's something that i've been thinking about lately. FRIENDS. i have awesome friends. they watch out for me all the time and listen to all my stupid stories...i've been talking to one of my friends lately and helping them deal with some issues. it's really interesting because i didn't know how all the crap i've been through was going to help others but right now it's helping dramatically. i love helping people...although i end up getting worked up about all these stupid things and it doesn't help my situation...

anyway. friends.

"And friends are friends forever
If the lords the lord of them
And a friend will not say never
cause the welcome will not end
Though its hard to let you go
In the fathers hands we know
That a lifetimes not too long to live as friends.:"


on a side note...joy williams-yetton's blog is amazing. she is an amazing writer. she can give such a vivid picture of things that if you weren't in the music business you totally understand. and i do understand. i love it.

also, today i met dad's friend, ben, from work. it was great to finally meet him because i've heard so much about him and seen some of his videos and music videos. they are amazing.

here's one that dad and him worked on with AVICOM.
it was a huge avicom project. it's really fun to see something like this and you know the people who put their thoughts and ideas into making it possible.


comewhatmay...
teia

yay. new joy williams- ep!
i've been waiting for this day since her last cd came out. :)
i love her music...it's so fun and i basically wore out my cd collection of her.
so her new cd came out and i really love the song, one of those days.

hey hey hey what can i say
it's just been one of those...one of those days..

well i guess it's been one of those days.
it's been crazy and teachers are finally starting to load on the homework now that we've gotten through an entire first week of our 2nd semester.
erin and i planned to hang out today and then go babysit Meredith..but plans change...a lot.
so we're just going to hang out tonight and do whatever. then tomorrow morning i'm supposed to help with this video we're putting together about our biloxi mission trip. it's going to be awesome. then i work.

i've been helping one of my friends out a lot lately this week.
i'm really glad that i'm here to help...it just brings up a lot of...past thoughts from middle school. and let's just say that that was one of the worst times for me. but it's good to get through it and over it.

so now erin and i are just sitting in the computer lab...she's being productive and i'm sitting here reading blogs of all kinds and sorts. i'm reading about the Yetton's and my family and the Staub's and the Seay's...i love reading blogs. especially when they're really cute or funny like the ones i read today.

ok well i should go and help people and talk to erin....and text some more.
have a wonderfully, lovelyyyyy weekend

comewhatmay...
teia

pictures from biloxi.

here's just a few pictures that are from the trip.
majority are ones that i took. a few are from kirin.
and of course there are a couple edited pics.

Biloxi_1

im back.
i've been back since sunday but i've been pushing writing off since then because of the tired and lazy factors that come with traveling.
here's a review of my past couple weeks...get ready. ;)

thursday (the 8th) :
we got to school and packed up the vans to leave by 9 am. we all rocked out to music provided by kirin and got really pumped for the upcoming week ahead of us.
8pm we finally arrived to our first night away. we stayed in frohna, mo at a school. after we got to the school we had to find out where we were going to eat. we decided the west end tavern and grocery was probably our best bet. we all had delicious food and then headed back to school for a good night's rest. the girls got to sleep in the gym and the guys were in the school hallway upstairs. so kirin, beth and i found some gym mats and put our sleeping bags on that and slept away.

friday (the 9th):
we got up early in the morning because we had to get out of the school before the kids started getting there. :) the whole group went to trinity lutheran, a few miles away, where the first LCMS church was started. we did a tour of the concordia church we had been at for the night and then headed on out to biloxi.
LONG DRIVING DAY... but made fun through laughter and continuous playing of kirin's ipod.
we got to camp biloxi at 8ish and then had a late night dinner at taco bell. we met jan, who was incredibly sweet and really kind. we all settled into our bunks and got a great night's rest.
our cabin/trailer things fit 3 bunkbeds and 6 lockers. all 6 of us girls were excited to be in a room together but we weren't sure how we were going to make it with such a small room! (this is me and beth chilling in our room. there is one more bunk...but kirin's sitting on it...not much room in here)

saturday (the 10th) :
we woke up for breakfast. and then headed out with the chaplain, drew and rava. they showed us some local houses and the owners were more than happy to share their story about Katrina with our group. we heard john and rava's story about how their neighborhood was wiped out and is now rebuilding. then we visited a house right across from the beach. it would have been a beautiful house. it was so interesting to look at the beach and then do a 360 and you were facing this house that had only been touched by looters after the storm and an occasional walk-through by the owner and a couple visitors. we met the owner and he talked to us about his wife and the storm. he stood on the porch of his house while evacuation notices were going out but he stayed on his porch where the water was up to his ankles. then the police came and took him to a safe place when Katrina hit. after that house we visited one on "the point". the owner there talked about his time during the storm and how the water came up to the 2nd floor of his house and then stopped. he had so many people in his house waiting for the end of the storm. after that house we visited this family whose house was just about finished being rebuilt. the mom talked about her time during the storm and how her and her son had swam for many hours waiting for help. she saw 2 sharks swim past her and was so thankful that they had all made it through safely.
our entire group visited some hurricane memorials and then we went and had devotions and time at the camp.

sunday (the 11th):
we went to church at the lutheran church of the good shepherd. then we headed out to New Orleans for the day.
it was a great time. we watched the dragon master showcase and went to the river's edge restaurant. we walked around the cathedral and looked at bourbon street (to see what it was like in daylight hours- because night hours are not good there.) after we walked to the french market and finally to cafe du monde. YUM! our table all got beignets and cafe au lait. it was so delicious.

monday (the 12th) :
we got up and ready for a 6 o'clock breakfast but soon found out it wasn't until 630 so we went back to bed for 30 minutes.
then we headed to a worksite where we were able to clear out some huge containers (they were basically "boxcars" full of tools and construction gear that needed to be boxed up for a move). we moved everything into a trailer and then kept going to unload the trailer and bring it back out our site.

tuesday (the 13th):
on tuesday we had somewhat of a "free" day. we went to some more houses and looked at what destruction was still left from katrina. then we went to the beach and had some more time to discuss what we were doing over the next few days. kirin, beth and i all took some great pictures and had an awesome time being our crazy selves. :)

wednesday (the 14th):
our whole group was excited to get on our first site! we went to this house and helped them build this trench for a drain so that the rain water wouldn't flood the house. we also started painting the house!

thursday (the 15th):
kirin, sara and i were able to go with the chaplain and go hand out food to the homeless. we had a really great time doing it. it was kinda scary at first because you don't know what to expect but it was so awesome to show them that they can change their lives around. and that there is hope. we gave out some prayer shawls and then lunch bags. the three of us also made 61 new lunch bags! we went shopping for the food and then put them all together. after visiting people we helped clean out the ambulance that is used for storage on the campsite. we visited this guy who was making food for 1000 people for the MLK jr. day celebration. after lunch we were pretty much done so we went to visit someone in long beach and played with the dog there for awhile. then the three of us went to the beach with mr. roeske and got coffee and talked about musicals and different things that we had in common!

friday (the 16th):
we woke up and had breakfast. beth, kirin and i were taking a bathroom break and then i got a text while waiting for the other two. beth read it over my shoulder and was like wait...you're birthday isn't until tomorrow...it's the 15th today. and i told her it was the 16th.
so we went back to our room and they sang happy birthday to me as many times as they could think of and to every tune they could think of. :) it was awesome.
kirin said happy bday to me everytime she looked at me. haha. and i got some awesome texts from people back home and a call from kristin!
we went and worked at the house again and worked worked worked away. we were able to eat lunch in the sun ...it was like a picnic. it was so awesome to be able to have it warm outside in the middle of january.
after working all day we went back to camp and the three of us had chili and then all of us headed over to the waffle house!
we finally got to go to theh waffle house. beth and i split two choc. chip waffles and a huge hashbrown. it was DELICIOUS. oh and i had some coffee too. ;)
then beth and kirin started playing the jukebox. they played all these waffle house songs and they found a happy birthday waffle house song. so they played that and everyone in the restaurant sang ...it waas really funny. and i was embarassed but it was all good.
then we went back and had a devotion and i was sung to again. it was a great day.

saturday (the 17th):
we got up early and headed over to get breakfast and be on the beach for the sunrise.
well we didn't quite get to the beach when the sun was coming over the horizon..but we stood and prayed and read some Bible verses on the beach. it was awesome.
we drove all day saturday...there was a lot of sleep and stops goin on.
our vans finally got to the church we were staying at at 8ish. the girls were able to stay in the youth room with all the couches and then the guys slept in the nursery. haha.
then our group decided that we were going to surprise some friends at the seminary. so we drove there and got some dinner and then got back to the church.

sunday (the 18th):
more getting up early and going to church. we all got to church and then went to breakfast and the arch. kirin, beth, abby and i didn't want to go in the arch because we'd been in it before but we walked around and took some hilarious pictures.
once the whole group got together we left and drove home. our last hour of driving kirin decided that we were going to play our fave van songs. ;)
that playlist included:
-i'll make a man out of you (from mulan)
-single ladies
-if i were a boy
-where in the world is carmen sandiego?

and a couple of others. it was a really great time.
i wish i could write more about it. but i dont think i can put any of the rest into words.

an album with pics is coming soon!

comewhatmay..
teia

chasm.
what a great word.

i'm going to be gone from jan. 8th through the 19th. we're going on our biloxi, mississippi trip.

and when i get back....i will be older, wiser and thanking the Lord for our wonderful time.
ok kidding.
but i will be older because my birthday is just in "9 short days..."
wicked songs are running through my head...like one short day.
moving on, i probably won't be wiser but it's always older, wiser...etc. :)

i'm excited for this trip.
please keep our entire group in your prayers as we travel from WI to Mississippi.
thanks and i'll write more when i get back on the 19th!

come what may...
teia

here's one of my favorite pictures from christmas break.
josh and i will probably do some pics for his next album here. yay.

comewhatmay..
teia

oh my goodness.
amazing night best describes what just happened to me in the past 10 hours.
it's so late. so i might try to keep it short. :)

my missions class for winterim is going really great. we're having a blast and tomorrow we're meeting from 9-1145ish. then i have choir for a bit in the afternoon and then work and packing. oh my goodness. i should sleep. i need to get so much done in the next few hours.
we leave for biloxi, ms on jan. 8th and are planning to get to biloxi sometime on friday. when we get there we will be helping with hurricane clean up. i'm really excited because i think it will be a great opportunity for all of our group.

tonight was amazing. josh picked us up around 400ish. we got some food at mcdonald's and our order was messed up...oh man. but then we broke out the new cd i made for the trip and started getting ready for the rest of the night. we made great time to chicago and got to the show 30 minutes before WICKED started! i can't believe i saw it. it was amazing. the actress who played galinda/glinda was phenomenal and hilarious. she was made for that part. she played it wonderfully and you could tell she was really into it. during the song, Popular, we were laughing so hard. i almost started crying i was laughing so hard. she was so funny. POOF.
"ga-lindaaaa." it was a blast.
then isabel and i got t-shirts. :)
we made it home in 3 hours because on the way home we stopped at the oasis and got more food because i was hungry...again.
the three of us had some great conversation and just blasted more WICKED music on the way home. but mostly we just talked which was great.

i love hanging out with isabel and josh because even though sometimes we don't get along....we do.
we're weird, i guess.
i'm exhausted and now my back hurts...josh complaining about his back affected mine...great.

ok, i have class tomorrow morning, so i need to write an email and then sleep for 5 hours.

comewhatmay...

teia

happy new year.
one year. it went by so quickly.
last new year's eve. isabel and i werethe only two healthy people in our house. we stayed up till midnight and made a huge sundae with marshmallows, bananas, sprinkles, chocolate syrup and blue frosting that said 2008.
this year i brought in 2009 with erin. finally we spent a new years together. haha. she came over and we talked in my room and took some crazy pictures with sunglasses that were left in my room and used my computer. it was awesome. we watched some youtube videos and decided to make ice cream sundaes and iced coffee. :)
it was very nice.

the past couple of days have been pretty crazy. saturday i found out that kristin wasn't coming into town for a couple of days.
sunday we cleaned out some of the stuff from the old house. i went to borresen's christmas party and then kristin told me that she could come for monday and tuesday. so i cleaned up for that. monday i got up and ready, piera and i went to coffee and target. i finished up kristin's present. i made her this pencil holder thing with music notes for school and a pillow and i gave her some lotion. :)
she got here and we hung out just talking. she was able to hold zoe for a long while without the baby fussing. then dad got home and we went out to dinner at charcoal grill. it was really funny because we walked in and then i hear "hey teia." and jeff from work was sitting at the table next to us with his family eating dinner. haha. after dinner we picked up kellen from basketball. then we walked down to starbucks. we found this awesome book called 5. you list your top 5 values and your 5 goals/dreams. and what you want to do in the next 5 years.
that hit me hard... what do i want to accomplish in 5 years? in 5 years i will be 22...almost 23. that's as old as josh is right now. and i think about what i've done in the past 5 years. it's scary. i want to accomplish so much but at the same time it's hard to even put together what my dreams are.
i can't make decisions. i'm so indecisive. i can't pick what book is my favorite or movie. i can't pick what movie i want to watch or what i want to do with my life. and that's where it starts to freak me out. "what are your 5 dreams/goals in the next 5 years?" what? what? i need to figure this out. i want to know so bad. i want to decide. do i want to travel somewhere else in the world for a couple days or weeks? i dont know. do i want to travel at all? i dont know. i have no idea. i think i'm stuck in this world of me being "young" and not having to decide anything.
i can't just "go with the flow" anymore. i have to grow up and start deciding things for my own self. i want to know what i'm going to do with the next 5 years and i want to find dreams that i want to come true.

the book was an eye opener. "list the people you are grateful for."
"there is no better time than now."

it was fun to work on it with kristin. then we woke up on tuesday morning and went to dave's for breakfast with people from my work. jeff was the person who had me for secret santa. :) he gave me a pink swiss army knife. haha. i laughed so hard. kristin thought the people i worked with were pretty funny ..then we went to starbucks againnn. :)
and had lunch with josh. we went to qdoba. which reminds me. my burrito is STILL in the fridge. i didn't eat ANY of it. i was not hungry...dork. we had a fun time at lunch.
we came back here. tried on some of my shoes and i kinda had a little breakdown..yeah not fun.
kristin left.
josh got some boxes for moving. we talked. i went into depth about what was going on...why i kinda just lost it. i hate telling people sometimes..but at the same time i want to tell someone. and i kinda just dumped it on him. we had a good talk though...
today i watched zoe and the boys most of the day. then erin stopped by. and now i'm here.
i talked to josh again. he said that he moved today! we're both really excited. he's excited for himself. and i'm excited for him. tomorrow i might help him unpack a little...and check out his new apartment. yay.
winding down on christmas break...and then time for MORE school. gross. ...

time to go.......

comewhatmay...
teia