Two years ago on easter was the day after zoe was born. being in church that day i couldn't help but just balling at the end of the service. we were so unsure of everything that was to come in the future. the baby girl had been born the day before and had stopped breathing two times since..."in christ alone, my hope is found, he is my light, my strength, my song..." this easter we were in church again and i'm still unsure of what's going to happen. i know he's holding us all but sometimes it's a little hard to see that through the mess of a world we live in. questions were answered in the two years and then many new ones were formed.

it's not that i try and forget what january/february were like it's more like it hits me in waves. when i sit and think about how in one week i heard about zoe and was attempting to deal with that and then after her funeral i went through it again...that hurts. i can't think about it.